Breaking Bad… Habits.

Did you know that changing behavior can be as easy as managing convenience?

The simplest way to change negative behaviors is by making them more inconvenient. For example, if you’re struggling to break the social media binge, make it more difficult to access your social media accounts. Delete the apps and make logging in more inconvenient by not storing your passwords.

On the other hand, make engage positive behaviors more convenient. For example, do you want to read more? Leave a book in your bathroom, and when you need to go, leave the phone behind so that when you’re busy doing your business, you have nothing else to do but read to occupy your time. Even if it’s a page or a paragraph, you’ll already be reading more!

These are just simple examples, but they’re a great way to engage productivity and take responsibility for your life.  I offer few more tips in the video above, but if you put your mind to it, I’m sure you can uncover ways to develop from the habits keeping you from accessing your potential.

READY TO TAKE YOUR LIFE TO THE NEXT LEVEL?

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If you don’t want to give up, don’t.

 

Working to accomplish any goal is challenging, and often enough, it’s the mental challenges which cause us to buckle under pressure

We tend to set goals out of excitement, in high energy and with the focus of who we can be and what we can uncover when we achieve them. Although, it is naive to think that this is how we’re going to feel throughout point A to point B, but in truth, we need this naivety in order to set goals in the first place.

We have to allow our ambitions to override our instincts when setting goals, otherwise we’d see nothing but the challenges we’re going to face. There’d be no motivation to set a goal if all we focused on were the difficulties we’d come up against.

Our ambitions allow us to momentarily bypass reality and harness the intention of our desires. It’s a powerful force because that feeling we get when setting a goal, is a feeling we want to embody.

It’s like a higher version of self pays us a visit, shows us who we have the potential to be in order to seed an intention, then leaves us figure out how to make it happen. – Practically the epitome of the human experience; problem solving.

Challenges, they bring us back down to reality, they make us focus on the present moment and we should be incredibly grateful for that. For without our challenges, our goals would have no purpose whatsoever and we’d be living ignorantly and without purpose.

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When my clients talk about “giving up” I merely remind them that they’re only responding to the challenge at present. That if they truly wanted to give up, they wouldn’t have bothered setting the goal in question, in the first place. Nobody in the history of everything, started something with the intention of giving up. Giving up is a really dumb idea – go splash your face with some ice-cold water and realize that you’re still alive and in control.

If we’ve invested in our goals, then we should be equally, if not more invested in our challenges too. Our challenges help us identify what we don’t know, that’s why they’re so liberating when we overcome them, they help us develop.

If you feel pressured and feel like you should give up, just remember you’re responding to the challenge and not the goal. If you cannot handle the challenge, then scale back and formulate a new strategy, that’s all you have to do.

Many people overlook the fact that we yearn for the emotional response when achieving a goal; it’s that self-validation we’re striving for. It’s self-validation we need in order to unlock and harness our potential, and become self-realized. Giving up is self-sabotaging behavior and the only thing you’ll ever learn from giving up, is that you’re incapable of living and designing your own life.

On that note, I leave you with this one question: if you’re not living to experience what you’re truly capable of, what is it exactly, are trying to do with your life?

Are Insecure Women Taking Advantage of Emotionally Ignorant Men?

 

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I had recently shared a post about the state of mental health among men, and as a result of that post, I saw a dramatic increase of consultations from men. Which is when I started becoming aware of another silent, and probably growing epidemic affecting men (and women). Men are being left heartbroken after investing in a relationship for a significant amount of time, because they’ve fallen victim to a fallacy. Their partners never intended to commit, they simply needed “a place to crash” as one client described it.

I’m a feminist, actually, scratch that, I’m a Sikh (still a feminist), because I truly believe that men and women are equal. As a result of this belief, rather truth, and that I also work in the field of relationships, I feel I should acknowledge a growing concern among men which isn’t talked about enough.

Now when it comes to relationships, I do agree, women have suffered far worse. You only have to look back a decade to realize how challenging it was/still is for women to be respected. There are women across the globe who are still having to fight and campaign for basic equal rights, which in 2018 sounds absurd. As men, we have a duty to support and educate ourselves about women. And, in the spirit of equality, women do also need to support and educate themselves on men – if we really are looking to shape an equal world.

Truth is, the majority of women don’t truly understand men, and vice versa, the majority of men don’t really understand women – though I would say the latter is probably more apparent in society today. Through years of conditioning and submitting genders to inaccurate roles represented in, well, pretty much anything we consume, is it any wonder why we define each other by generalized representations? Instead of actually understanding and getting to know each other as individuals?

In relationships, so many people think they know their partner inside out, it just isn’t true inside every relationship. Great relationships are one’s where both individuals are mutually and equally involved in each others personal development, and always trying to understand each other better as individuals. Difficult relationships on the other hand, are basically when two individuals have submitted to roles defined for them, and the relationship is merely a manifestation of a representation or ideology. Where does your relationship fall on this spectrum?

So back to the topic – which actually resonates with the dire end of the spectrum – are insecure women taking advantage of emotionally ignorant men? Yes, there are women out there, who, in order to maintain a sense of security, are seeking a more emotionally fragile partner (easy to manipulate) to take care of them, only to leave once a sense of security is acquired. It happens, it’s not the majority of all women, and it’s not the majority of all men – please keep this in mind.

When we live in a society where we’re so conditioned to adopt certain ideologies about gender, it’s easy to fall victim to insecurity and ignorance. Men, you cannot buy love and taking care of someone is not an investment in your future. For example, if you choose to spend your time and money on taking care of someone, and choose to ignore the truths of how you feel – perhaps neglected? Insecure? Fragile? Then you are being emotionally ignorant. You cannot stop anyone from changing their mind, or walking away, and if you’re heartbroken because they did, and you feel betrayed, check in with your emotions first – did you ignore your truth? Was it easier to continue the relationship, than to disrupt it and enter conflict with presenting how you feel and facing the truth?

Men often become ignorant as they’re taught to bury how they feel to avoid coming across as weak and jeopardizing their masculinity (their security), and as a result, use their “advantages” as men to secure a partner. Presenting themselves in a way where they feel they can offer security and safety, in exchange for the love and belonging (emotional needs) they desperately need. For insecure women it’s often the other way round, they present love and belonging, their “advantage”, in exchange for safety and security. Women often become insecure because the world isn’t as secure for them.

Why? It’s likely because of how the world interrupts our natural journey into self-actualization/realization. What we see in the media particularly, encourages this type of behaviour. Women are taught to appeal to men’s emotional needs, and men are often taught to appeal to women’s safety and security needs.

How do we prevent it? It’s quite simple in theory, men need to start facing how they feel and learn to seek support independently, and women need to have more independent equal opportunities. This is an example of a restriction in our society which is keeping many people from realizing what they’re truly capable of as individuals, keeping people from discovering genuine partnerships.

In summary then, are insecure women taking advantage of emotionally ignorant men? Yes, but both parties are culpable. Therefore, we can also argue the that emotionally ignorant men are also taking advantage of insecure women.

Equality, it’s crucial to human development, please take notice.

Are you ready to discover the truths about your relationship?

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Hack Your Cup of Coffee

I do try and avoid coffee, however, even I need that boost after a late night of research and work. I’ve noticed though, that the effect of coffee doesn’t last very long and often sets off feelings of anxiousness. Which is expected given that you’re forcing your body into a wakened state. I’ve discovered that adding a teaspoon/half a teaspoon of Turmeric really helps sustain the effect of coffee throughout my day, and helps me gradually build up to a wakened state. Which reduces my coffee intake to just one cup! – Though you may want to add honey for taste, Turmeric doesn’t go down easy 😝

In your morning cup of coffee:

+ 1 tsp of Turmeric

+ Dollop of Manuka Honey (for taste)

Curb Anxiety and Paranoia with ‘The Fire Drill’ Theory

Anxiety is a mental health issue which affects over 40 million American Adults, 1 in 4 Canadians, 4.1 per thousand in Indians, 6 million in the UK, and approximately 100 million people in China. That’s already 200+ million people worldwide! I became curious about the global statistics as I seem to be dealing with more clients here in Vancouver and The Lower Mainland, who are battling this mental disorder on a regular basis.

Read the full item here: How to Curb Anxiety and Paranoia. 

Online Life Planning

Welcome to Dream Life Design!

A personal development course designed to help you unlock your potential, increase self-awareness and plan the life you’ve always dreamed of.

My name is Terry Sidhu, I’m a life coach, and I’m looking forward to guiding you through my personal development model. Which I use to help my clients lift the burdens restricting them from really pursuing their lives.

From developing the confidence to do things they’ve always been afraid to do, through to moving on from the grip of depression and anxiety. My clients have discovered what it is they’re really capable of, and now you can too!

When I entered the personal development industry, I noticed very quickly how many tools, processes and self-help modules, imposed certain ideologies onto people. Many of which, associating complete fulfillment to monetary wealth, or aggressive campaigns telling individuals what they should be doing with their lives, and how they should be living them.

So I set about researching and developing a model which gives you, the individual, power and control over your life. I firmly believe that every single one of us has value, and the key to unlocking that value, is to connect with our truth, and embark on an honest path in life.

Through my research and experience in Psychology and Marketing, and independently delving into subjects such as spirituality, philosophy, and history, I discovered that the fundamental problem of the human experience, was in the ways which we define ourselves.

Therefore, I place your identity at the heart of your personal development, because who you are and how you live your life, should be something you define for yourself. Uninterrupted and detached from any pressure or expectation to conform to someone else’s idea of fulfillment.

Life is supposed to be fun, exciting and most importantly free, and because I work with clients across the globe, I learn every single day how possible it is, to live life your way.

So whether you’re looking to travel South East Asia like Christina from Moldova, parachute out of a plane like Andrew from The United States, or become an entrepreneur like Vanessa from Korea… you too, have what it takes to manage the unimaginable.

Enroll today and start planning the life you know you were born to live.

I’ll see you soon.

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The Many Reasons Everyone Should Move Abroad at Least Once in Their Life

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If you have lived in the same country all of your life, the thought of moving abroad may be one that excites you and makes you nervous in equal measure. However, as they say, life is for living. Taking the plunge and moving abroad at least once in life is something that everyone should do, and here are the many reasons why.

You will experience a new culture – There is only one place to begin, and this is with the fact that you are going to branch out and achieve something new. You will experience an entirely new culture, and this is something that a lot of people do not get to experience.

You will learn to relax – Do you feel like life is stressful? You are often caught in the hustle and bustle of work and plagued with other worries. Well, by moving abroad, you will be able to let go of these feelings. You will learn new things, discover new places, and you won’t feel as pressured while doing so.

Memories and experiences matter more – Material things are nice, but surely experiences and memories are more valuable?

It’s not as difficult as you may think – A lot of people assume that moving abroad is going to require a huge amount of upheaval; it is going to be incredibly challenging and cost a massive amount of money. This does not need to be the case. it all depends on where you move to and how you go about it. You can find plenty of assistance online. One of the more difficult aspects is securing a visa. This page on a de facto visa shows you how you can move to Australia, and there are plenty of other similar dedicated visa help pages online, so you can easily find the information you need.

You will achieve more from life – Once you move abroad, you will feel like you are able to achieve anything. This will help you to think more creatively and get more from your life. You will start making more of your dreams come true.

You will become more open minded and independent – If you speak to anyone that has lived in another country, you will find that most of them say it is the best thing they have done because it transformed them as a person. Being out of your comfort zone will result in you becoming more confident and outgoing. You will also be a lot more independent too.

Moving abroad is incredibly rewarding – When you look back, you will see that you managed to build a new home for yourself in another country. You will also see that you dealt with the stress that comes with moving to a new country. This will give you a real sense of achievement.

Enhance your CV – Moving abroad also gives you the opportunity to develop yourself professionally. In today’s competitive job market, living abroad can give you the competitive edge. You may find that you are able to secure a huge client because you understand business and cultural nuances. Plus, you are able to converse with people of all levels all over the world. This, and your improved language skills and experiences, are bound to set you apart from the other candidates whenever applying for a job.

Make new friends – Moving abroad also gives you the opportunity to make new friends. Of course, there may be nothing wrong with your current group of friends, but meeting new people is always a good thing.

Your mindset will be broadened – Your outlook on life will inevitably change once you move abroad. You will be shocked by how many things you learn, and how your mindset changes for the better.

Taxes won’t haunt you – This is undoubtedly one of the main reasons why a lot of people are tempted to move abroad. Taxes in countries like the UK are pretty hefty, and they seem to be increasing all of the time. There are some countries that offer low taxes, which can be a very tempting proposition for someone who lives in the UK at present. It means you are going to get to keep a lot more of the money you earn.

Amazing weather – Another reason to consider moving abroad is so you can enjoy delightful weather throughout the majority of the year. If you currently experience more rain than sunshine, moving abroad can offer you a slice of paradise.

Live a luxurious lifestyle – Some countries enable you to live a luxurious lifestyle without a luxury budget. Imagine waking up every morning to sunshine, walking down the beach, and starting your day off with a cocktail. Sounds great, right? Well, this is possible when moving abroad.

You will get to taste new foods – You will end up trying foods that you would not usually give a second thought to. Immersing yourself in a new culture and living like the locals do can be a lot of fun. You will notice that your tastes start to gradually change.

It is fulfilling – Last but not least, moving abroad makes you really feel like you have lived your life to the full. You feel like you have done something noteworthy and given your life great meaning.

Hopefully, you don’t need any more convincing. It is clear to see that moving abroad is something everyone should experience at least once in his or her life. This is an incredible experience, which can be exhilarating, empowering, enjoyable, and eye opening. Whether you move abroad while young or spend your years of retirement abroad, make sure you take the plunge at some point in your life, otherwise you may live to regret it.