Decoding Destiny and Making a Pact

DESTINY METERDestiny is a tricky concept to grasp.

Some suggest that destiny is a predetermined path that our lives will follow. That we have no control over our destiny and there’s no escaping what we’re destined for.

On the other hand, I’ve heard that destiny is completely ours to determine. Suggesting that we are the creators of our own destiny, and that we control the outcome of our own lives by the choices we make today.

I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the concept of destiny for some time now, trying to align it with my belief that every person has potential for greatness.

If there is such a thing as destiny, then there must definitely be more than one predetermined outcome. After all, we’re all beings with untapped potential, therefore we all have the opportunity within us to shape a great destiny. The outcome of our lives is on us and we are responsible for ensuring we reach a positive inevitable.

So I reckon that destiny is on a spectrum: on one side of this spectrum we’re destined for greatness and on the other, lays an insignificant destiny. Where we land on destiny’s spectrum depends on how we live our lives today.

For example, if I spend every day, every present moment possible in engaging my passions, building experience and skill, then I can pretty much gauge that I’m shaping a destiny toward an inevitable greatness. However, if I’m lazy, giving into procrastination, idly living, willingly lacking direction and not even attempting to make something of my life, then destiny’s gauge will naturally sway closer towards an inevitable insignificance.

Basically, I think destiny offers several predetermined outcomes on a scale between insignificance and greatness. Our aim should obviously be to achieve the ultimate greatness we are destined for and it is the choices we make today, that determine how close we actually get to achieving it. It’s like every good decision we make sways destiny’s pointer towards greatness, and every bad decision we make sways the pointer back towards insignificance.

Keeping this figurative scale in the forefront of my mind allows me to feel in control of my destiny, albeit inevitable. It keeps me motivated to work on my goals and forces me to mindfully make decisions, ensuring I secure a positive future. Ambitious I agree, but it’s like I’m making my own pact with destiny.

Also, don’t forget that greatness is ours to determine, for instance what I deem to be great for me and my life, may seem insignificant to another. So long as we remain true to our identities and stand by what we want from life, we can guide our own inevitable.

Think about it, to which destiny are you catering your life for? Are you navigating your life towards ultimate greatness or are you catering your life towards something insignificant?

Remember you only have one life, so give yourself the opportunity to do something great with it.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

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Stay awake with me.

Staying awake

The beauty of life, is that we have the opportunity to live it. So long as we maintain awareness within present moments, life can be experienced fully.

We can spend hours delving into non-existent pockets of time that satisfy our fears and suppress our truest desires. But if we do allow our minds to wander throughout time, we run the risk of losing touch with ourselves and end up losing touch with present moments we want to live.

I’d notice that my thoughts would often turn negative and I would feel as if my life would lose its value, whenever I allowed my present to be affected by the insecurities of my past and/or any uncertainties of my future. And in these moments, I’d be overcome by an overwhelming desire to escape my present completely, resulting in avoidance and halting any progression towards the life I wanted to be living.

I feel now, with my priorities in complete order and my consciousness focused on being very present and aware, I’ve been able to maintain more control over my own mindset. Every time I feel my mind wanders off in time, I wake up and snap back into productivity. I do what I have to do to satisfy the actual moment, instead of feeding any negative perception.

If for whatever reason I’m not happy or am feeling as if life is running away from me, I take it as a sign that I need to wake up. I’ve become increasingly mindful of how I had let non-existent moments in time affect my present life:

  • The lack of comradery in my past would cause me to hold onto unhealthy friendships in my present. By allowing my mind to drift off into the past, I continued to fail in my present. I’ve learnt that there is no moving forward if I’m consistently looking back, I cannot allow my past experiences cause me to drift into assumptions and notions that rationalize negative behavior today. I have to honor the present and take charge of the very moment I’m living.
  • On the other hand, the future has had its funny way of messing with my present too. I was recently offered an opportunity that connected really well to my goals, I hesitated before accepting this opportunity because I let my mind wander into the uncertainty of the future, and I was about to let a significant opportunity slip away from me because of a presumption that things wouldn’t work out. To me that sounds just as ridiculous as living in the past, I desire a bright future yet here I am questioning the very opportunities that may give it to me. Although I have a clear vision of how I want my future to turn out, I cannot, and must not, allow this future affect my self awareness. My present choices determine the outcome of my future, so it makes sense not to dwell too much on thinking forward, but rather spend present efforts moving forward.

To maintain control over my mindset, I ask myself if this is what I truly want; “Am I completely fulfilled in this moment?” Or “Am I letting the burden of time affect me from experiencing and accepting this moment fully?”

Failing to “Stay awake” caused me to drift away into moments of negativity, resulting in self-doubt and complacency. It’s important to rigorously maintain self-awareness o understand that the past is no longer in existence,  and the future can only be determined if the present is truly nurtured. Practicing this has now made my life much simpler, and I spend less time thinking and more time doing.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

How the Other Half Live: Scaling Honesty

The Honesty Scale

 

Your mind is the most powerful tool you have, within it are the very ideas that will guide you to your dream.

For most, those ideas are often hidden or contained within barriers of emotion and perceived threats. Threats and emotions you use as a defense against who you really are and what you really want from life. So you protect your ideas from the world in order to fit in, into a life longing for more, until you become another person to let a dream die.

For a brief moment, look into the world with an objective lens, referring to the diagram above, you’ll notice that you can place people on a scale. On one side you have those passing time – going through the motions of life, restricting their ideas and resulting in a loss or lack of true identity.

On the other side, you have people who live freely, making time for the life they really want to live. Exploring their ideas and building their lives towards their dream. Living life by the true nature of their identity in pursuit of their own goals.

It’s pretty obvious where most of us would like to be placed, but to determine your position on this scale you should ask yourself “how honest are you?”

Decision Time

Honesty Scale

Honesty is a very important component when shaping a life your happy with. For me it was being able to tell the world that I want to make a difference and actually help people. Sounds easy enough, but very difficult if you grew up exposed to an environment and philosophy no less – that linked a good life and success to self-gratification.

The more honest you are to yourself and to others around you, the closer you are towards the happier side of the scale. We’re all individuals capable of greatness but unfortunately the messages we consume or are exposed to can crumble our ability to be honest.

You’ll reach that center point, that pivotal ‘decision time’ at several stages in your life. To either be honest about what you want and embark on a journey among the other half making time to live. Or cave under the pressure of fear and change, burying your honesty to follow the path back to passing time – making room for short term fulfillment like the purchase of a new phone and following latest trends.

You avoid thinking for yourself because it’s easier to let influences distract you from what you really want or rather, what you truly do not have. Remember you can never run away from the truth but honesty will eventually catch up with you in the form of frustration and stress. Due to the lack of lasting fulfillment your lead back to that central point.

Your ideas and your mind crave to be free, they’ll fight for freedom and rise to the surface again and again. You have opportunities to make lasting changes in your life but ultimately it’s whether you’re willing to admit the truth in order to move closer towards ‘making time’.

Considered Different

I reckon we’re all born at the right side of the scale but as we grow up we’re influenced to live life by ‘passing time’. Therefore when we decide to break free from that, we’re considered different, but you must learn to share your truths in order to succeed.

I also thought about how boys are afraid to express emotion and vulnerability because of a misguided view on what it takes to be a man. Then on the other hand, girls afraid to share ambition and courage because of the mixed messages they’re exposed to that define women. We teach children to bury their honesty without even realizing it, to grow up on a “trivial pursuit of happiness.”

When I tell people I’m writing a book and that I want to coach others closer to the best that they can be, people think that it’s “amazing” and that it’s “different” when in actuality, it’s a lot easier than it was writing my university dissertation and much easier than going to a job i’m not fulfilled by. I’ve set my mind free, allowed myself to be honest about what I want from life and it led me to this path towards fulfillment. I’m naturally encouraged to think for myself now and challenge ideology.

The longer you live to pass time the more helpless you’re going to feel when it comes to making that decision, because the transition from chasing work/trends to chasing your dream comes with incredible challenges. However the more truthful you are to yourself, you’ll empower yourself to follow through with your goals and with each goal accomplished, the easier it’ll become to aim for what you truly want.

Eventually fear and doubt will cease to exist and you’ll obtain a set ofSuper Powers’ to help you along. Just like any major change in life, it just takes some time getting used to.

Just remember, being honest exposes your identity, your identity defines your dream and the energy of your dream gives you the motivation, courage and determination to pursue it. It just all depends on how honest you are willing to be.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

How to Develop Superpowers

Superpower

Your identity is the force that will guide you to the life you’ve always dreamed of.

Something changed in my life when I ventured out on my own, I was forced to live life based on the very traits of my own identity and as a result, I learned much more about myself and what I want from life. I gained more control over my life and I developed a new set of powers that I never knew existed.

The more I learned about myself, the more I became confident with just being myself. For instance, I learned that I could draw strength from struggle, I found that I could lift my spirits without intoxication and I realised that I can pretty much accomplish anything I wanted in life so long as I truly desired it.

The more my identity grew stronger the clearer my dreams became and with it, the more powers I accumulated:

The Power to Control Time:

When you begin to live life by the very identity that defines your true aspirations, you can develop the power to control time. It gives you the courage to walk away from circumstances that add zero value to your life, giving you the time to invest in your own pursuits. You become very aware of time and how you spend it, and no longer are you a slave to time as you will learn to master it.

The Power to Read People:

The day you start becoming more confident and more yourself, you’ll begin to notice differences in certain people around you. Your ability to understand others grows stronger and you’ll perceive certain people differently. You’ll notice those that are in your support network and those who are merely present for personal gratification. The more confident you become the less concerned you are with being accepted by others, therefore enabling the ability to read people for their true intentions.

The Power to Change Circumstances:

Knowing your identity allows you to really become aware of your emotions, you understand the very things that make you tick, to everything that excites you. You can use this knowledge to affect the outcome of any situation by controlling how you handle it. Furthermore, by turning negatives into positives, you’re building the ability to keep your mind focused in the direction of where you’re headed.

The Power to Travel in Time:

You gain the power to see into the future because you become very aware of the path you’re on. Knowing yourself allows you to answer questions about your future, thus allowing you to identify what it is you need to do to make that future a certainty.

No longer will you be blurred by the struggles or controlled by the expectations that affected how you lived your life. You’ll have the power to change how you view the past; you can reflect on your life and use situations that you deemed disadvantageous and learn from them. You begin to use your past as a source of strength rather than a trigger for weakness.

The Power to Source other Powers:

Living by your own identity allows you to learn about your own strengths and weaknesses. Therefore giving you the power to source out other individuals who you can learn from, who possess the strengths you desire. Powerful people attract a network of powerful people; it’s like this secret society where money, success and social status are just words.

True power comes from identity and individuality, you become open to learning about different beliefs and purposes. You learn from others to help reach your own destination.

As you begin to break down the walls that surround your identity, you’ll begin to develop these new powers. The more you stay true to yourself and what you want from life you’ll nurture each power into superpowers, and you’ll begin to drift into this new plane of consciousness where bulls*** will no longer exist.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

4 very important lists that everyone should make, right now.

Pen to paper

Yesterday I didn’t feel like myself when I woke up. I slept in too late, woke up to some awful news, watched a lot of TV and ended up doing a load of nothing. As my eyes shaped square from too much TV therapy, I decided to put pen to paper and write freestyle, and I found myself writing the four most important lists of my life, and I urge you to do the same.

1. A list of misery: list out all the things that are causing you misery in your life today; anything that impacts you negatively. Do you hate your job? Are you in a unfulfilling relationship? Are you finances a mess? Society and expectation perhaps? Also, feel free to think outside the very aspects of your life, does inequality stir up negative feelings? Does homelessness and poverty impact you?… This list identifies the things in your life that keep you from living it.

2. A list of bliss. This one is quite opposite to the last list, write down everything in your life that impacts you positively: your hobbies, your interests, happy memories, social gatherings, maybe you love you job… Anything that brings you joy, add it to this list. This  list identifies the things that allow you to live your life.

3. A list of gratitude. Make a list of all the things you are grateful for: family, friends, health, love, wealth whatever your grateful for in life, however small it may be, add it to this list. This list is your most powerful, it’s a list of things that give you strength and determination. This list identifies the things that keep you alive.

4.  A List of goals. Goals you want to accomplish, the goals that will better your life, goals that shape your life the way you want it to be. This list unveils the directions you need to go to make list 1 smaller, list 2 endless and to keep list 3 set in stone. Remember this list will continue to adapt and change as you cross off each goal you accomplish and as you compile this final list, keep in mind that it has the biggest influence over the other three.

These are your lists so do not allow anyone else to influence them. Work on these lists right now and start embarking on a life you deserve.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach