Privilege.


Work hard.

Just remember, when you reach a certain level of success you become a threat to those who never took you seriously before.

Probably because of the colour of your skin, or your gender, or perhaps a disability or orientation. Whatever is used to make you feel marginalized and dehumanized, keep working hard.

Because when you arrive at the member’s lounge and they still won’t let you in through the front door, you’ll need the strength of your integrity to kick in through the back. And when you step up to the platform make them aware that you have arrived, that you belong, and that you’re inviting all your friends.

So work hard.

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How to Make Decisions

Post by, Vancouver Life Coach

right-way-wrong-way2

Life is full of choices, and it’s the choices we make that shape our lives. Therefore the question remains, how do we make the right choices?

I’ve been asked this question over and over again. At first, I couldn’t give anyone a definitive answer because mindful-decision-making stems from the root of your identity. To know if you’re making the right choices in life, you must first evaluate your own identity:

  • Do you feel liberated and free to be yourself?
  • Are you restricting your identity just to fit in?
  • Are you struggling to open up about your problems and restricting yourself from seeking support?
  • Are you making meaningful connections with others?
  • If you’re in a relationship, does your partner see you for who you are?

In summary, are you yourself completely?

Before making a decision in your life, reconnect with yourself. Become self-realized and aware, and establish how much of your life is being experienced by you, versus a version of you that appeals more to your influencers. Think of influencers as things in your life that restrict, or have the potential to restrict, who you are and the great things you’re capable of. From people through to places – are you a product of your environment, or is your environment an extension of your identity?

Work to understand and unleash your identity and you’ll realize how to make the right choices. Whatever decision you’re faced with, you must always side with the choice that keeps your identity intact.

For those that have a responsibility to others such as children, ask yourself if a positive impact on your own life will strengthen your relationship to those you’re responsible for. You shouldn’t make your decisions out of obligation, but rather so that you can fulfill your obligations happily.

Many people come across this blog seeking answers, but the answers readers seek are buried within themselves. Hence its purpose is to encourage readers to be themselves; tune in to who you are, and you’ll find all the answers you’re looking for. Tune into your identity and you’ll begin to recognize happiness as an emotion waiting to be set free, rather than an aspiration to work towards.

Vancouver Life Coach

Stop Playing the Blame Game

Blame

Productivity and a proactive, positive mindset are crucial when formulating the outcomes you desire from life. If you’re engaged in a game of blame to make sense of failures or undesired results, then you run the risk of losing key identity traits that keep you on track with your aspirations.

Responsibility is not a selfish notion, it’s a collective one.

Everything I’m going to mention in this post is instilled within each and every one of us. You can either spend your efforts playing the blame game, which does nothing but distract you from reaching any level of fulfillment. Or, you can take responsibility for your life and let your aspirations power your determination to succeed.

You are solely responsible for your own life, despite what you may believe, you are in full control. You just have to ask yourself how badly you want the life that you crave. What sacrifices are you willing to make? What challenges are you willing to face? Even if it means being ridiculed and judged, are you able to take responsibility and stand up for your passions and your beliefs?

Responsibility transcends beyond your immediate needs, it’s ensuring that you pay a lifetime of duty to yourself, to live life optimally and take advantage of every opportunity you seek. It’s trusting your instincts and maintaining a healthy balance between your mind, body and soul.

Responsibility is understanding that every undesired outcome in life can be rehabilitated, so long as you strengthen your will and become incredibly aware. It’s overcoming fears and doubts by regularly consuming knowledge and accepting fact. It’s overcoming hesitation and raising your hand to ask a question.

You’re a being of uncapped potential and if there is something in your way that you wish to challenge, then develop and test your ideas. Turn your senses off from trending desires and create, and innovate by allowing your imagination to turn the gears in your mind.

For those you’re responsible for, it is your obligation to set prime examples of what responsibility looks like. Maintaining pride and upholding traditions of no value is not responsible. You must ensure that you create an environment for yourself and for others to be open and honest, in order to feel safe and secure.

When you feel that you have tried absolutely everything to succeed or feel deflated from a lack of achievement, you’re presented with an exceptional challenge. It’s the challenge of perseverance and yes, you do have what it takes.

It’s easy to blame the world and everyone in it for your problems, or the lack of present achievements/opportunities. Although you may have bigger hurdles to jump over that others perhaps do not, don’t allow this to be an excuse to lose control over your own life. Remain in the driver’s seat and take responsibility for the journey you embarked on.

So go on, trigger your motivation and feel the energy of that dream life you’re going to make a reality; navigate your mind into a state of ultimate responsibility!

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

2015: Reintroducing Spirituality to Success

I heard the above tune back in 1998 when I was about 10 years old. Now almost 17 years on, I still have it on my iPod and I’m gutted at the fact that Tupac might be right, that nothing will ever change. I listened to this track yesterday and picked out a handful of lyrics:

  • “Cops give a damn about a negro? Pull the trigger, kill a ni***, he’s a hero.”
  • “Misplaced hate makes disgrace to races we under.”
  • “There’s war on the streets and the war in the Middle East.”
  • “Take the evil out the people, they’ll be acting right.”

The world has advanced in so many ways, yet nearly 20 years on, this song could have been released today and still be relevant. So I began to wonder what was missing in our pursuit of success. After all, when we think about wanting success, it’s often motivated by the desire for change.

After some reflection, I began to wonder why society has become so socially latent; it seems the very pursuit of success has been misguided and reduced to self-indulgence and lifestyle. Making us blind to issues (like the ones above) that our successes could help eliminate.

Defining the Pursuit of success

We’re 15 years into the third millennium and I’m thinking about my own future and that of our future generations. I want them to become successful of course, but what message can I share that ensures their success isn’t pursued in vain. That their pursuit of success does not perpetuate social latency, because the idea of having a fancy car trumps the value of personal accomplishment.

We often look up to successful people today for all the wrong reasons, they set so many bad examples of what it means to be successful. Causing society to substitute true fulfillment for material possessions, to replace true leaders with pop icons and to adopt mass trends instead of embracing their own ideas.

I meet so many people living “successful lives” yet they struggle to find any fulfillment in the lives they live…that’s not success.

The pursuit of success seems lost in translation. It’s surprising how many people want success yet find it difficult to define it, let alone have any worthwhile reason as to why they want it. Lacking purpose and identity.

I think the pressure to look successful has blurred the true meaning of what it means to be successful.

The entire reason I anchored this topic off of Tupac, was to illustrate how much we have disconnected with the spirit behind success, and how this disconnect can result in no real progression or change. Be it in ourselves or circumstance.

Here’s a man who pursued success for much defined reasons. He became successful because he had the right spirit. That spirit then left a lingering echo through time. Leaving an awareness that identified some of his unfulfilled aspirations, for others to then recognize and connect with. To me that’s a very good example of what it means to become successful.

Success and Spirituality

It’s spirituality that exists within great people of today and those that have left legacies behind for others to align with. The advances in science, the innovation in technology, the force of community, the boldness in art and the tenacity in sport. They were all driven by the spirit within individuals. Industries moved forward because those that carried the spirit of success prevailed.

I sometimes can’t help feeling that the connection civilization had to spirituality has been lost. Through the misinterpretation of religion perhaps, or the lack of belief and trust in those that lead us.

Spirituality is personal-growth, it’s giving our lives meaning, giving our ventures a reason to be pursued. It’s developing an elevated feeling of purpose. It’s the connection we can’t measure, yet have with our dream.

Spirituality authenticates our aspirations. It’s our journey, we should make it significant.

Having spirituality in success defines the outcome we desire. It’s the umbrella that hosts determination, courage, confidence, motivation, perseverance and pretty much anything else we require, that contributes to believing in ourselves.

Let the pursuit of success once again become a virtue. With it, make positive changes within ourselves and to world we live in.

We have the opportunity within us to leave a legacy, not just a memory. Pursue accomplishment and be successful, don’t just pursue the idea of success.

“You see the old way wasn’t working so it’s on us to do what we gotta do, to survive.”

– Tupac Shakur, Changes

VanCity

Learn to Align Responsibilities with your Dream

Appreciate what you have and use what you are grateful for as ammunition, for productive activity towards your goals.

Ever since I’ve started my own path in life, I’ve learned to take time out to be with the people I need to be with, to remind myself why I do what I do. I’ve also learned to take breaks and travel to places that remind me of where I soon want to be. I’ve learned to reflect on time, to understand what challenges I have overcome which strengthen my will to continue on with my pursuits.

There’s this misconception people have when it comes to chasing dreams. It’s suggested that you have to put your everyday life aside and develop some sort of tunnel vision of where your headed, blurring everything else in your path.

A belief that there are a lot of sacrifices we have to make, to make things happen. I now know that this is not entirely true, because the life you wish to pursue must echo within the life you live today. It is possible to turn moments that feel restrictive, into a major part of your journey. I have my responsibilities as do we all, and I learned to align these responsibilities with my work and make them worthwhile.

How?

Well for example, if you have a full-time job that pays the bills, use it to your advantage. Speak and engage in conversation with people/new people at work and take advantage of this learning opportunity. An opportunity to showcase and test your skill and talent, not just skills required for the job, rather the ones you have that motivate and inspire others by simply being you; a skill you’re going to need if you want success.

If you have children, break the everyday routine. I suggested to a friend that when it comes to waking up his family in the morning, he should inject high energy into the home. I suggested fun music in order to start everyone’s day motivated and full of excitement, turn a moment into a memory with purpose.

You can still pursue your dreams and make the life you’re currently living feel worthwhile. Take these moments that feel like a break from progression into a purpose for progression.

Your life today is full moments that positively impact your goals, it’s time you started making the most of them before you miss the opportunity to do so.

Inspiration for this post: Janet Jackson – Got til it’s gone

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach