Breaking Bad… Habits.

Did you know that changing behavior can be as easy as managing convenience?

The simplest way to change negative behaviors is by making them more inconvenient. For example, if you’re struggling to break the social media binge, make it more difficult to access your social media accounts. Delete the apps and make logging in more inconvenient by not storing your passwords.

On the other hand, make engage positive behaviors more convenient. For example, do you want to read more? Leave a book in your bathroom, and when you need to go, leave the phone behind so that when you’re busy doing your business, you have nothing else to do but read to occupy your time. Even if it’s a page or a paragraph, you’ll already be reading more!

These are just simple examples, but they’re a great way to engage productivity and take responsibility for your life.  I offer few more tips in the video above, but if you put your mind to it, I’m sure you can uncover ways to develop from the habits keeping you from accessing your potential.

READY TO TAKE YOUR LIFE TO THE NEXT LEVEL?

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How Music Can Help Awaken Your Passion

I watched this documentary [Alive Inside] and it reminded me of a message I drafted a few weeks ago. It inspired me to post it today.

To feel and experience raw passion, to discover and then nurture it, you must first tune into emotion.

Emotions pretty much control your being, they dictate your life and how you live it. Your emotions, if you can face them, could be the very key you’re looking for to unlock your potential. Great people are emotionally invested, driven by their own desires to make an impact on the world; they’re passionate.

Music helps.

Music has a funny way of guiding you into a flow state. It activates a spirit which allows your imagination to fly free. When you play your favourite track and you’re transported to a moment, whether that moment existed or not, that moment allows you to feel.

When you feel, your heart syncs with your mind and they both work in unison to guide you closer to where you want to be in life. The aspirations you hold onto are activated and you’ll feel like every nerve ending in your body, has connected you to your destiny.

A fantasy overwhelms your reality and all you want to do is engage; this is your opportunity to be creative, innovative and inspired…and whatever else you need to feel to encourage work towards your goals.

When your emotions awake, you also shed many layers of thought that may have kept you from attaining a certain individual quality with your work.

A focus on emotion can stimulate a rare vision that normally you wouldn’t have been able to access. I think back to some of my best accomplishments, most, if not all of them we’re emotionally driven. Some moments gave me the courage to act on impulse, and others allowed me to truly understand what I really wanted for my life, allowing me to drop expectation and live life on my own terms.

This includes negative emotions too, for instance, hurt can motivate you to break negative behavioral patterns and encourage change in your life. Suffering can inspire you to change the world and anger can be channeled into productivity.

So next time you’re looking to stimulate your passions, try putting on some of your favorite music, allow yourself to be transported to a moment and let the emotions you feel ignite a flow state.

For more information on the ‘Music and Memory’ organization and ways to donate, please visit: http://musicandmemory.org/. Check out the trailer for ‘Alive Inside’ here.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

How to Reduce Anxiety and Ease the Pressure of Making Choices

Connecting two worlds

Sometimes I feel like I’m standing in a shallow sea just as the sun is about to set and the tide about to rise. Although I may feel content and happy where I am, I’m merely moments away from a bad situation and if I don’t do something soon, I’ll be stuck here wishing I had made the choice to move sooner.

When we feel content and safe in a situation, it’s easy to overlook our pursuit for fulfillment. We begin to struggle with the choices we need to and/or want to make, that progress our lives towards betterment and actualization. This complacency feeds anxiety.

The longer we do hold onto a comfortable situation, the closer we become to losing sight of who we truly are and what we truly want. We can lose sight of our aspirations and motivations, as our complacent ways consume and become our identity.

Our true desires eventually catch up to us, for complacency can only repress our inner intentions for so long. There’s no running away from who we truly are and what we truly want from life, as it only takes a tiny spark of inspiration to reignite our true identities. And when we are reminded of who we actually are and what we actually want from life, we’re confronted with many choices that cause anxiety.

I’m working with several clients that are realizing this burden of complacency in life and are now facing a great deal of anxiety, because they’re facing the “pressures of freedom of choice.”

A wise connection of mine known as ‘Dilly Dave, recently published a video on anxiety and he describes it very well. He talks about how we need to take action in order to limit worry and overcome “the dizziness, of freedom of choice.” I think it’s a compelling video that sums up anxiety and worry brilliantly, check it out below:

To ease this pressure, I want to share something we all already know but easily forget, it’s the importance of engaging in trial and error.

I came to this re-realization when I began delving into both spiritual and scientific practices that help people reduce anxiety. Personally, I’ve noticed a huge impact on my life since adopting yoga and meditation, but what really intrigued me was how these practices actually developed.

Breakthroughs and discoveries in both Science and Spirituality are the result of trial and error, and I hadn’t noticed this primary link that connected the two together. Both, on the same mission towards solving problems and seeking answers, only progressed and discovered results because of regular trial and error.

Ironically, anxiety causes complications as we’re overrun by choices, yet a proven method towards solving problems and seeking answers, thrives on the many choices we’re presented with. Therefore it’s very important to understand that making the wrong choice shouldn’t really be the thing we should concern our lives with, failing to try is what we  really should be focusing on.

Motivation is triggered by thoughts that access our potential. If our thoughts are focused on making the wrong choice, then we’re only feeding an anxious spirit. However, if we mindfully focus our thoughts towards the outcome of not trying, we begin to awaken a motivated spirit.

There’s a wonderful bliss that one can experience when engaged in seeking answers. We can enter an active flow state and steady our minds just by engaging in life’s most simple and most effective learning tools. To sum up, we can begin to reduce anxiety by embracing the pleasure of discovery.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

How to Channel a Negative Experience into Productivity

Shell

I feel I’ve worked very hard over the last few years to build a life free from as many negative stresses as possible. Yet, as hard as I work to avoid it, sometimes life just throws a negative force my way and I get affected.

I wish I could tell you that I have a solution. A way to avoid bad experiences completely, but I have yet to come across one. Life just has a funny way of f*cking things up now and again, but its OK, because I’ve learned that I can build strength from moments that attempt to break my spirit.

When I’m knocked down, what I learn as I get back up makes me stronger. The lasting impact reduces as I increase my tolerance and patience to work through any negative experience life decides to put me through.

The future is promising and my present is shaping up nicely. I’m experiencing the life I have built for myself and for the first time, I’d become unconcerned with interruption.  The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of good vibes: from networking and connecting with new people, through to celebrating milestones and successes. However, getting caught up in all this current bliss, I overlooked any potential disruptions that would affect this positive flow of energy. I was productive, I was social and I was grounded.

I won’t go into detail, but an echo of disappointment and mistrust knocked me sideways as my identity was threatened. Everything I had work so hard for felt like it was unravelling because of this one, unrelated negative experience. It was so unexpected that disruptive thoughts consumed my consciousness, I was struggling to focus as I tried to regain a positive mental state.

I guess it’s what a lot of us do in situations that impact us negatively, I tried to overcome without processing and I tried to rebuild without reflection. There was bit of a journey between where my mind had ended up to where my mind needed to return, and I had to drive down a highway of reflection to get there. Full of wide turns and varying speed limits, the journey felt long but I found myself finding more peace as I passed each landmark I recognized.

I realized that this is one small, although significant, negative experience was not the energy I needed to nurture. Why dwell on it when I don’t want it? I don’t need it and by investing into it I’m only giving it more power over my life. It’s one of those situations that cannot be reversed, so I have two choices. I can choose to either let it affect all that I have worked on and worked for, or realize my aspirations and utilize this experience towards something productive.

I always forget that negativity is an uncomfortable loud scream over positivity, which is a gentle comforting whisper. Understanding this is how I learned to channel negativity. There are countless ways for me to be productive and do something that benefits me and my life. I just needed to do something to raise those little whispers, something that reminds me of my identity; doing something that reminds me of myself, to remind me of what I want.

I like to write, I like to blog and I like to be alone when I process my thoughts. So I opened up my laptop, poured myself a beer and wrote. Not really trying to think of what to write, I just allowed my mind to focus on whatever it wanted to focus on. Clearly the negative experience was still on my mind so that’s what I wrote about. The more I wrote the more I reminded myself of how much I love this! How much I love just doing what I do and how I want to make this a part of my living. This is what I want and I want more of it.

The more I engaged my passions the balance began shifting back in my favour; the more I was engaging in something that made me feel like me again, reminded me of my potential and my goals. I synchronized my energy into a flow state of productivity and before I realized it, I had this blog post written up, four more ideas drafted and organized my schedule for the week ahead. I overcome a negative experience and rediscovered my bliss by utilizing  things that make up my identity.

Like me, you too can turn your negative experience into something productive.

Whatever bad experience you come across in life, you can get through it. Life will continue to affect you again and again, but as long as you consistently engage in the things that make life worth living, then it won’t be too long before you return to your purpose and focus.

Just keep in mind, you must do whatever it takes to engage those comforting whispers in order to distance yourself from any annoying screams.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Stop Playing the Blame Game

Blame

Productivity and a proactive, positive mindset are crucial when formulating the outcomes you desire from life. If you’re engaged in a game of blame to make sense of failures or undesired results, then you run the risk of losing key identity traits that keep you on track with your aspirations.

Responsibility is not a selfish notion, it’s a collective one.

Everything I’m going to mention in this post is instilled within each and every one of us. You can either spend your efforts playing the blame game, which does nothing but distract you from reaching any level of fulfillment. Or, you can take responsibility for your life and let your aspirations power your determination to succeed.

You are solely responsible for your own life, despite what you may believe, you are in full control. You just have to ask yourself how badly you want the life that you crave. What sacrifices are you willing to make? What challenges are you willing to face? Even if it means being ridiculed and judged, are you able to take responsibility and stand up for your passions and your beliefs?

Responsibility transcends beyond your immediate needs, it’s ensuring that you pay a lifetime of duty to yourself, to live life optimally and take advantage of every opportunity you seek. It’s trusting your instincts and maintaining a healthy balance between your mind, body and soul.

Responsibility is understanding that every undesired outcome in life can be rehabilitated, so long as you strengthen your will and become incredibly aware. It’s overcoming fears and doubts by regularly consuming knowledge and accepting fact. It’s overcoming hesitation and raising your hand to ask a question.

You’re a being of uncapped potential and if there is something in your way that you wish to challenge, then develop and test your ideas. Turn your senses off from trending desires and create, and innovate by allowing your imagination to turn the gears in your mind.

For those you’re responsible for, it is your obligation to set prime examples of what responsibility looks like. Maintaining pride and upholding traditions of no value is not responsible. You must ensure that you create an environment for yourself and for others to be open and honest, in order to feel safe and secure.

When you feel that you have tried absolutely everything to succeed or feel deflated from a lack of achievement, you’re presented with an exceptional challenge. It’s the challenge of perseverance and yes, you do have what it takes.

It’s easy to blame the world and everyone in it for your problems, or the lack of present achievements/opportunities. Although you may have bigger hurdles to jump over that others perhaps do not, don’t allow this to be an excuse to lose control over your own life. Remain in the driver’s seat and take responsibility for the journey you embarked on.

So go on, trigger your motivation and feel the energy of that dream life you’re going to make a reality; navigate your mind into a state of ultimate responsibility!

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

10 Ways to Engage A State of Flow

Staying dedicated to your passion can be an everyday challenge. Between fighting off the temptation to procrastinate and giving up all together, it isn’t easy to maintain momentum and prolong productive activity, when life is so distracting.

Being in the “zone” is a term used when focus doesn’t require a technique and you’re naturally plugged into your own genius. Where you can enjoy work for several hours straight, unaware of time and space. However when life jolts you back into play, trying to return to a zone of fluid productivity is an unbearable frustration.

So here’s ten tips to help you plug back into your brilliance.

  1. Set Your Passion as a Priority

When I mean priority, I mean place it way up there with eating, drinking and sleeping. However, rather than simply telling yourself you need to work towards your aspirations, liken it to how you feel without your basic needs. Such as the impact of hunger and sleep deprivation on your body and your emotions.

Liken your passion as a means to survive, if you’re not working towards fulfillment and self-actualization then you’re on a long, painful road to your demise.

  1. Develop a Fear of  Not Fulfilling Your Potential

I’m all about conquering fears, however there’s one fear everyone should develop and embrace – a fear of not fulfilling your potential. Dying without purpose, wasting your life not having tried and wasting time on things that simply do not matter.

Remind yourself of this fear when you wake up in the morning. Beat procrastination and use this fear as power against those seven deadly sins.

  1. Remind Yourself of Everything That Makes You Miserable…

….then smile and give it the finger!

Your time is way too precious for negative infiltrations, so that list of misery you’re working on reducing, empower the fact that you’re working towards eliminating it. Remind yourself; while others complain, you’re making a conscious decision, and effort, to do something about the misery in your life!

  1. Measure Your Successes and Celebrate Them

First of all shatter your illusions of success if they’re only linked to monetary wealth and shiny, fancy new things.

How much have you learned? How has the quality of your work improved? How much have you personally developed? These are measurable levels of success just as much as the traditional pay-off.

Remember you can only welcome and enjoy your definitive success if you have nurtured the genius behind it. Encourage yourself to progress by measuring how far you have already come, there may still be a long road ahead, but your closer to the destination than you ever were before. 

  1. Find New Sources of Encouragement

Listen. Learn. Support.

Although encouragement from your nearest and dearest is precious, the novelty tends will wear off. Seek to grow your support network by wearing your passions on your sleeve, define your life by your aspirations and encourage others to do the same and notice how you’re attracted to like-minded people, like bees are to honey! 

  1. Stay True To Yourself

Not only are you an individual with a dream, you’re an identity full of potential and you’re a “bad-ass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody!” Let others worry about following trends and fulfilling statistics, stay true to who you are and what you want from life.

You are your only asset – protect it.

  1. Help Others

Fulfilled success and helping others are closely related: they make you share your identity with others and it demonstrations what true fulfillment feels like.

Do yourself a favour and help others. Helping others also humbles you, it keeps you from getting carried away with your desires and helps you maintain your own purpose and focus in life.

  1. Reward Yourself and Make Time to Unwind and Relax

After a marathon of work, don’t retire exhausted, reward yourself. Be it a cheeky Netflix binge or spending good times with good people, whatever you choose.

Reiterate the message of fulfillment; life is an abundance of joy so long as you maintain a healthy balance. Rewarding yourself after work is much more fulfilling than indulging for the hell of it.

  1. Schedule; Don’t Idly Live By Routine

I don’t believe in following routines, they bore me. I make schedules.

So long as you meet the deadlines you need to make, mix up your schedule and help your mind remain active, so that life doesn’t become dull.

Humans are good at adapting, tap into this trait by mixing up your week. Revive your energy week by week and move tasks and responsibilities around. Change is good, change stimulates the mind and change is experience.

  1. Work With/Near Others Just As Hungry for Fulfillment as Yourself

It’s amazing how people can connect to one another, although your journeys may differ significantly, the thirst for life can measure up the same. It encourages you to work towards your own aspirations if those around you are doing the same.

 

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach