Breaking Bad… Habits.

Did you know that changing behavior can be as easy as managing convenience?

The simplest way to change negative behaviors is by making them more inconvenient. For example, if you’re struggling to break the social media binge, make it more difficult to access your social media accounts. Delete the apps and make logging in more inconvenient by not storing your passwords.

On the other hand, make engage positive behaviors more convenient. For example, do you want to read more? Leave a book in your bathroom, and when you need to go, leave the phone behind so that when you’re busy doing your business, you have nothing else to do but read to occupy your time. Even if it’s a page or a paragraph, you’ll already be reading more!

These are just simple examples, but they’re a great way to engage productivity and take responsibility for your life.  I offer few more tips in the video above, but if you put your mind to it, I’m sure you can uncover ways to develop from the habits keeping you from accessing your potential.

READY TO TAKE YOUR LIFE TO THE NEXT LEVEL?

Picture1

Advertisements

Decoding Destiny and Making a Pact

DESTINY METERDestiny is a tricky concept to grasp.

Some suggest that destiny is a predetermined path that our lives will follow. That we have no control over our destiny and there’s no escaping what we’re destined for.

On the other hand, I’ve heard that destiny is completely ours to determine. Suggesting that we are the creators of our own destiny, and that we control the outcome of our own lives by the choices we make today.

I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the concept of destiny for some time now, trying to align it with my belief that every person has potential for greatness.

If there is such a thing as destiny, then there must definitely be more than one predetermined outcome. After all, we’re all beings with untapped potential, therefore we all have the opportunity within us to shape a great destiny. The outcome of our lives is on us and we are responsible for ensuring we reach a positive inevitable.

So I reckon that destiny is on a spectrum: on one side of this spectrum we’re destined for greatness and on the other, lays an insignificant destiny. Where we land on destiny’s spectrum depends on how we live our lives today.

For example, if I spend every day, every present moment possible in engaging my passions, building experience and skill, then I can pretty much gauge that I’m shaping a destiny toward an inevitable greatness. However, if I’m lazy, giving into procrastination, idly living, willingly lacking direction and not even attempting to make something of my life, then destiny’s gauge will naturally sway closer towards an inevitable insignificance.

Basically, I think destiny offers several predetermined outcomes on a scale between insignificance and greatness. Our aim should obviously be to achieve the ultimate greatness we are destined for and it is the choices we make today, that determine how close we actually get to achieving it. It’s like every good decision we make sways destiny’s pointer towards greatness, and every bad decision we make sways the pointer back towards insignificance.

Keeping this figurative scale in the forefront of my mind allows me to feel in control of my destiny, albeit inevitable. It keeps me motivated to work on my goals and forces me to mindfully make decisions, ensuring I secure a positive future. Ambitious I agree, but it’s like I’m making my own pact with destiny.

Also, don’t forget that greatness is ours to determine, for instance what I deem to be great for me and my life, may seem insignificant to another. So long as we remain true to our identities and stand by what we want from life, we can guide our own inevitable.

Think about it, to which destiny are you catering your life for? Are you navigating your life towards ultimate greatness or are you catering your life towards something insignificant?

Remember you only have one life, so give yourself the opportunity to do something great with it.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Stop Playing the Blame Game

Blame

Productivity and a proactive, positive mindset are crucial when formulating the outcomes you desire from life. If you’re engaged in a game of blame to make sense of failures or undesired results, then you run the risk of losing key identity traits that keep you on track with your aspirations.

Responsibility is not a selfish notion, it’s a collective one.

Everything I’m going to mention in this post is instilled within each and every one of us. You can either spend your efforts playing the blame game, which does nothing but distract you from reaching any level of fulfillment. Or, you can take responsibility for your life and let your aspirations power your determination to succeed.

You are solely responsible for your own life, despite what you may believe, you are in full control. You just have to ask yourself how badly you want the life that you crave. What sacrifices are you willing to make? What challenges are you willing to face? Even if it means being ridiculed and judged, are you able to take responsibility and stand up for your passions and your beliefs?

Responsibility transcends beyond your immediate needs, it’s ensuring that you pay a lifetime of duty to yourself, to live life optimally and take advantage of every opportunity you seek. It’s trusting your instincts and maintaining a healthy balance between your mind, body and soul.

Responsibility is understanding that every undesired outcome in life can be rehabilitated, so long as you strengthen your will and become incredibly aware. It’s overcoming fears and doubts by regularly consuming knowledge and accepting fact. It’s overcoming hesitation and raising your hand to ask a question.

You’re a being of uncapped potential and if there is something in your way that you wish to challenge, then develop and test your ideas. Turn your senses off from trending desires and create, and innovate by allowing your imagination to turn the gears in your mind.

For those you’re responsible for, it is your obligation to set prime examples of what responsibility looks like. Maintaining pride and upholding traditions of no value is not responsible. You must ensure that you create an environment for yourself and for others to be open and honest, in order to feel safe and secure.

When you feel that you have tried absolutely everything to succeed or feel deflated from a lack of achievement, you’re presented with an exceptional challenge. It’s the challenge of perseverance and yes, you do have what it takes.

It’s easy to blame the world and everyone in it for your problems, or the lack of present achievements/opportunities. Although you may have bigger hurdles to jump over that others perhaps do not, don’t allow this to be an excuse to lose control over your own life. Remain in the driver’s seat and take responsibility for the journey you embarked on.

So go on, trigger your motivation and feel the energy of that dream life you’re going to make a reality; navigate your mind into a state of ultimate responsibility!

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Motivated to Work: Connecting My Environment to My Identity

Since the age of 19 I’ve not really lived at home, between travelling, working and my current pursuits, I’d float from city to city but I’d always manage to find a space I connected with. A space I could escape to and work, that allows my mind to focus, to get in the zone and get closer towards achieving my goals.

Now I’m lucky, I have a home of myTravel own; a home that I have designed to remind me of my goals and in ways that represent my life, such as the things I am grateful for and what I aspire to be.

I’ve made my home to serve as daily reminders of what I need to do to grow my passions…

When travelling, I always had to go in search of places that motivated me to work, and I would find “hot Spots” that inspired me. To do this, I would follow one rule; to find places that connected to aspects of my identity that create an energy of my aspirations. For example, when I lived in London I would go into the city to work, into areas that connected to me, such as areas I imagined myself living in one day.

On my travels in Asia, I would hide out in culturally rich places; near temples or at the foot of awe inspiring monuments. Simply allowing my senses to absorb the life and spirituality around me as my mind focused on what needed to be done. I connected with the humble atmosphere there.

The individuality contained within New York City, the richness that paved London, the smiles that beamed in Sydney, to the freedom I found in Vancouver. There was always something to be found that appealed to aspects of my identity.

… as I sit here now in the comforts of my own home, around the stillness and silence, my environment echoes my life and what I have accomplished, they help guide and motivate me to my next destination. Designed to cater to my identity, as my identity guides my life.

Try it, go in search for places you connect with and if you struggle, simply start by being in a place where you feel comfortable being alone. That loneliness forces you to tap into your identity and as you become more in tune with who you are, you’ll be drawn to places that motivate you and you’ll eventually uncover the passions that will guide you to wherever it is you’re supposed to be.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

How To Control Creativity: Enter Into Chaos

writing

Control is paramount to success; scheduling, timing, thinking strategically, ensuring responsibilities are maintained and so on. You need to be in full control of your life to live it without fear and to become the success you want to be.

You need to control the journey, manage the steps you take and the directions you go if you want to shape destiny your own way. With control over it, you won’t fear it, you won’t fear losing it and you’ll limit any doubts you have of not achieving it – hence why maintaining control is crucial.

Unfortunately life for anyone shaping their dreams is going to be chaotic. Take my life for instance, between working full-time and consulting, maintaining daily responsibilities and running a home, on top of keeping up to date with my responsibilities back in the UK. Maintaining this blog and writing my book i.e fulfilling my passions. is what makes life full.

However it’s not these duties that make life chaotic, good time keeping and scheduling ensures that the above gets taken care of.

What makes my life chaotic is when a wave of inspiration comes out of nowhere and it isn’t the time allocated to be creative. For example, having amazing ideas when washing the dishes or during a busy shift at work and in the middle of the night, even though I have to be up at 5am.

Creativity rarely seems to hit when I’m actually sitting in front of the computer ready to write…How am I to stop everything I’m doing and just surf the inspirational wave? How does one control creativity?

Here is why I consider myself lucky to be building my dream in the digital age; my trusted tablet becomes my journal, it’s how I get to embrace the chaos of creativity when my muse decides to visit.

On my cloud storage, I have a folder called ‘Chaos’ it’s where I store all my ideas.

Chaos

‘Chaos’ has become a folder full of random voice notes, pictures, jotted down words, partially written blog posts, music tracks, links and all sorts of weird and wonderful stuff. It’s a stupendous mess but it is so igniting when I’m ready to write. Everything is time stamped so I can recall the very moment an idea struck (a simple time-stamp and description of what you were doing goes a long way).

When creativity hits it just hits, it’s up to you to either let it flow into your preferred outlet there and then or let it fizzle away until the next wave of genius comes along at a more convenient time. Never let that happen, embrace the chaos when it arrives but control it by storing it – just ensure you access it at your earliest convenience.

Like many of us, life is often too demanding to put aside for a creative outburst, so this is how I control creativity and make creativity work for me. I still maintain control and when I am ready to write, all I need to do is delve into chaos.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

10 Ways in Which You Can Beat Procrastination

Procrastination

We all have those moments when we know we have time to nurture our goals but we choose to procrastinate, we avoid doing anything because it’s easy not to do it. However if you really want something out of life and you’re willing to put in the work, then you need to find ways to avoid procrastination and get things done…

1. DietWhen I ditched the cola for green tea, swapped the chocolate bar for a piece of fruit and I restricted food indulgences to celebrations and rewards, I became more productive. What you put in your body really makes a difference to your mind. If you’re consuming a lot of sugar for instance then you will eventually crash and energy levels will just drop.

2. Limit indulgences to rewards I’m a huge Netflix fan, I love dramas and documentaries but when you’re hooked on a TV show where each episode is one hour-long, it really limits the time available for taking action towards your goals. Now, I limit things I enjoy doing that have zero impact on my goals, as a reward for taking action towards my goal. For example: To earn one episode of ‘Breaking Bad’ I have to write something new, be it a blog post, page of my book or chapter. I’m getting into the habit of earning everyday indulgences.

3. People – Read my post about how the energy around you affects your ambition. If you’re around people who just sit around waiting for life to kick in then move away from them. If it’s your family and/or the people you live with, then lock yourself away, or go out and find a place where you can spend time on your goals. Avoid following negative examples and be very much aware of any negativity around you.

4. Move Exercise, dance, skip, walk, jump. If you’re a singer, pace as you sing, if you’re reading, walk around as you read. The more your body is used to movement the more uncomfortable you are just sitting down doing nothing.

5. Schedule – Make a schedule and make it full but easy to follow, do not allow room for excuses to put something off so schedule your down time too. The more I plan to do something the more likely I am going to do it.

6. Avoid Routine, Routines get boring and before you know it, you’re stuck in a behavioral pattern you struggle to break free from. You may have a framework to live with (e.g Work commitments and kids etc) but mix it up wherever you can. The less your life feels like a routine the more energetic you’re going to feel.

7. Avoid the same places and Schedule your life in way that keeps your mind active, for example I’ll try to write in new locations I have never explored before.

8. Imagine how life will look if you continue to let in the demon of procrastination in. Pretty s*** right? Your actions will impact your future, think about that.

9. Turn to those who are influenced by you. It allows you to see yourself from someone else’s point of view, what example are you setting to others. Do you want those that look up to you see you procrastinate? Be an inspiration not a let down!

10. Turn to your motivational triggers, Crank up the music, look to your roots, to anything and everything that inspires you to aim high for the things you want out of life.

Let me know how life turns out once you decide to get up off your arse and begin do something with it…trust me, it’ll look a lot better.

PicMonkey Collage

Live Your Dream: Invest Your Time Wisely

Make a Splash!

Remember when we were kids and we used to aimlessly jump into puddles, I remember I used to go out my way to find these shallow patches of water to make the biggest splash that I could. I’d get so carried away until I had completely drenched my socks misjudging the depth, but I didn’t care. I remember it being so thrilling because I was doing what I wanted to do, regardless of being told otherwise and each time it felt like some sort of accomplishment. Recently this random thought had stuck with me for a while and I noticed how differently many of us live our lives today. How many of us can honestly say we seek that thrill and want to make that impact? Don’t get me wrong I understand that we have responsibilities now and commitments that we never had before, but surely there’s still enough time to jump into a puddle now and then; investing time into shaping the life we want to lead will positively impact on our lives.

Do we invest enough time towards building the life we want to live and the way we want to live it? We continue to follow the same routine daily only to realize how much time we could have spent investing into our true goals. Things had recently settled down for me and I began to feel incredibly uncomfortable; surely working everyday and paying bills on time every month isn’t what people have evolved to. I know there is so much more I want from life because there’s so much more that life has to offer. I’m at a point now where I’ve met a lot of goals and now I’m ready to aim higher. I’m ready to jump into even bigger puddles.

I find it absolutely frustrating when I come across people who are willing to invest more time deciding on what type of partner they want before carving out an identity of their own. I find it disheartening when I see parents spend more time in a furniture store deciding on which coffee table to purchase rather than nurturing the minds of their offspring. I also find it bizarre how people can tell me more about other individuals, but can hardly piece two sentences together about themselves. At what point did this change, we start lives off so care-free and so individual to only have our identities consumed by the routines we follow. Somehow we decide to be a little more careful and take fewer risks; we find more time for the most insignificant decisions over investing time in shaping our own lives because we’re either afraid of failure or just learn that we simply can’t.

I turn to the people I admire today and am in awe of what they have achieved because it all started with a risk. Looking into a bold move and diving into a new challenge, they never allow themselves to become complacent and always aim higher. Never feeling they’ve hit their peak and investing their time wisely by seeking opportunity and focusing on goals by drowning out the pollution around them. My sister is probably one of the strongest willed people I know; a description of hell would probably sound like a vacation compared to the ups and downs she has faced in life, but nothing has stopped her from aiming higher to prove to herself, not to anybody else, that she can create a life that she is truly satisfied with.

Had a random conversation about the universe today and the topic lead to how minute our lives are in comparison to time and space, I thought to myself, f*** that! That notion doesn’t work for me, I may be only one out of about 7 billion people on this planet but I’m going to make pretty damn sure that this “one” makes an impact on himself and actually lives. There’s already too many irritated souls filling this planet with doubt and negativity not realizing that the benefits of today came from the ones who made a big splash yesterday.  I’m not saying I want my name to go down in the history books and I don’t adopt this mind-set purely for others to know who I am and what I’m about. I simply know what I can achieve for myself. Prove to myself that this life is worth more than a routine. Life shouldn’t be wasted walking around puddles taking the safer route, just jump right in and make that splash!

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach