Reform Your Relationship with Opportunity

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Overcoming problems

Happy New Year, folks! 2016 is officially here and before you run out and sign up for those gym memberships, before you start your detox and worry about the debt you’ve accumulated over the holidays, let’s talk about you for a moment.

The world is moving toward a new paradigm and the traditional way of living and earning seems to be changing. You may have noticed how little control you have over your own life, as you cling to the conventional methods of living. Perhaps the 9-5 model simply isn’t getting you where you want to be in life.

You may also find yourself molding and adapting to incompatible identities just to avoid being alone, while life seems to just pass by without purpose. The routine is getting old; Perhaps you find yourself lacking energy and living for those rare moments of happiness and joy as you exist within the bounds of procrastination and complacency.

Though this isn’t the case for everyone, maybe you’ve noticed such tendencies in family or friends, or feel that the instances above resonate within your own life. 

There’s a new energy that arrives each time you ring in a new year and it encourages you to seek opportunity. We make resolutions and promises within our lives just as easily as we upgrade our already perfectly functioning cell phones, only to realize that the fulfillment gained from these impulsive decisions was merely temporary.

To kick-start your life and navigate it into lasting fulfillment, you must first deal with the biggest problems that rule your life. You need to resolve the very problems that germinate the recurring, negative thoughts weighing heavy on your mind. It’s time to lift up that proverbial rug and clean out the problems brushed under it. If you’re seeking purpose and value this year, then you must work on developing the courage to attain them; unresolved problems break down the courage you need to develop. Your problems restrict the energy required to propel your life towards a reason of being.

Your immediate goals this year should be focused on overcoming the troubles you’re facing in life. This year, if you’re feeling numb and lacking satisfaction, you may want to reflect on your behavior in previous years, because clearly something isn’t working if you’re feeling deflated and unmotivated.

The longer you hold onto or avoid a difficult situation, the easier it becomes to talk yourself out of an opportunity; your problems will keep you from moving forward. Liken it to being in school, where each problem you solve in a subject- take math for instance- leads to a feeling of genuine confidence and encouragement, inspiring you to move ahead.

The opportunities you seek in life are available to you. Granted, some of us have to work harder than others to secure them, and I agree that the world isn’t exactly perfect and equal. However, working on and overcoming your troubles will make room for the encouragement and determination you need to succeed. The self-esteem you need to build and the tenacity you require can only develop when they have room to grow. Hold onto or avoid your problems for another year, and you’re only contributing to a life you simply aren’t happy with.

So if you’re stuck in a relationship that brings you more misery than joy, repair it or end it. If you’re in a job you hate, don’t work towards the promotion, work your way out of the job. If you’re feeling lost and alone, then work on developing the courage to admit it and seek support, rather than suppressing your feelings in an attempt to appear fine. If you’re dealing with an insecurity, or insecurities that lead into negative behavior, then work to uncover the root cause of it, in order to stop them from ruling your life any longer.

Want 2016 and the rest of your life to mean something, then reform your relationship with opportunity. Make room in your life to seek and secure opportunities confidently by dealing with your immediate problems first. Deal with the troubles that restrict your identity and limit your potential, and fix the problems that keep you from moving closer towards your aspirations.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach


How Lifelong Success Works: Prepare To Climb Down As You Make Your Way Up


Life is a series of peaks. It’s a fool’s assumption to believe that success moves in a linear direction; believing that once success is met life moves smoother. It’s never that straight forward and I’d never want to suggest otherwise.

When you hit one of life’s peaks, it would be a wise choice to prepare your mind for the next level of progression. It’s like a paradox, as you rise higher you might have to fall a little bit first.

It’s like getting a promotion you’re now qualified for, but feeling as if you’re in over your head. Going from feeling like an expert to feeling like a novice. Embarking on new opportunities in life can feel like you’re learning everything new again.

It’s difficult to escape feelings of loss and uncertainty, especially when stepping away from a place of comfort and esteem.  New challenges in life can stimulate a yearning to retreat into a life of familiarity. Where safety was assured because you had already conquered many other significant challenges.

When you reach certain peaks in life, it’s like an automatic door of opportunity open up, and as you walk through, you can really feel the door closing behind you. You find yourself in a new world with new challenges, and it is here you must reassert yourself.

You may become overwhelmed as you stumble through and adjust to these new challenges, perhaps you’ll decrease in confidence and fear sets in. Doubt will most likely circulate your mind as you’re welcomed into this unfamiliar world, to which you’ve earned your place in.

Remind yourself of your aspirations and the things you desire from life.

Whether or not you have the opportunity to go back the way you came, you will never progress towards fulfillment if you’re constantly yearning to go back. No one climbs a mountain by looking down. Just as you nurtured your last opportunity into a great accomplishment, you can do and must do so again.

Your success anchors off of your will and determination to discover and pursue your life’s purpose. Where you may envision your peak now may not be the only level you reach, because with each new height comes a new found awareness; you’ll be able to see your passion and success progressing into further potential and opportunity.

When you enter into new territories that life has prepared for you, you must continue your pursuit. Don’t hold yourself back because you feel a little anxious; feeling like you may have fallen from your peak. You must rise to the challenge and reach that higher height. Your life, just like the world you live in, is full of new discoveries waiting to be explored.

Success may not be a linear direction but, you can always ensure it continues to climb.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Be Prepared and Seize the Opportunity

The world around you is full of opportunities, sometimes you’re actively pursuing them and sometimes they pursue you. Either way, are you prepared for them? Can you put aside your doubts and aim for your target whether your ready for it or not?

We all have those excuses that curb our motivation to explore and learn.

Am I ready for the challenge? Am I ready to be involved? Am I sure that I can handle the pressure? Are all examples of excuses holding you back. Upon reflection, you’ll realize how much time you had wasted second guessing yourself, instead of seizing the opportunity and preparing for the challenges ahead and answering those questions you had raised.

You’ll learn nothing from the times you let opportunities pass you by, if anything you’ll always be left with that frustrating echo: “if only I had…”

It may not work out your way every time, but I can guarantee that you will learn more about yourself and your abilities each time you apply yourself and try. Knowing more is crucial information you need as you proceed closer to your dream, or if your merely on the path to figuring out your passions. You’ll learn what extra skills you may need to acquire, you may even uncover new skills you never thought you had…but you will learn something about yourself when you look back.

Today, walk around with a slingshot in your back pocket (figuratively speaking of course); If you see that opportunity in the near distance or it has you in its sights; then aim for it.

Although at times you might miss the target, with regular practice and consistent activity your aim will only get better and you will eventually get a hit!

photo credit: Ariel Schlesinger

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Living Your Dream: Don’t End Up Successful and Isolated

Nurturing your goals on a regular basis requires a lot of dedication and strict self-discipline.  When you’re so determined to succeed, you can overlook major life opportunities that will negatively impact your dream.

The opportunities I’m talking about, are the ones that leave you with memories that last a lifetime. Opportunities that shape your dreams and add a layer of perspective towards your aspirations. Opportunities that fuel your determination to succeed.

I have a busy schedule like many of you out there, but one thing I have learnt since embarking on this journey, is to make time to live and seize every opportunities to do so.

For instance; making time to meet up with friends for that drink you’ve been putting off for weeks. To connect with your family; spend quality time discussing memories and future plans. Making time for your hobbies and your interests, and most importantly engaging in things that make you feel like you.

Being consumed with so much work and other stresses, my writing started to feel like a chore and my work just didn’t feel satisfying. The past few weeks I had forgotten how important it is to take time out and live life. It has always been OK to take a break, after all the dream I’m trying to capture may not be so satisfying if I let opportune moments to build a memory pass me by.

Our dreams are an image of the life we want to live, so if we are already skipping moments that we want more of, then we’re overlooking the whole purpose of why we embark on this journey  in the first place.

You won’t neglect your work to avoid falling behind, so the same principle should apply to your life. So spend time with loved ones, spend time investing in your hobbies and take time out to enjoy life.

My advice: If you want to be surrounded by the things that make you happy, you simply cannot neglect them, don’t end up successful and isolated.


photo credit: Camilla Soares –

For those on the verge of giving up…


A unique opportunity, you have the opportunity to fight for the life you have always dreamed of. If giving up was an option for you then you would’ve done so already. the mere fact that your reading this post, be it for inspiration or for answers, proves that you’re not ready to turn your back on yourself and your potential.

An Invisible road block, the journey that you feel should to end, hasn’t. For when you hit roadblocks you need to go back the way you came and try a different direction…so evaluate. Evaluate your  choices, reposition yourself to continue the journey you began. Just because one avenue led you astray, try another and another and another until you find one that gets you back on track with your goals and your identity.

Determine your determination, is your will to give up stronger than your will to win? If so, what does this say about your character? Should you choose to perpetuate the negative – who are you really living your life for? Learn this, you have full control, alone or among a million, let yourself see the vision of the life you want and let that vision guide you, build your character and build your dream piece by piece.

Don’t be afraid to seek guidance, there’s a global network accessible at your fingertips. Do it anonymously if you want. Search for your answers, explore your passions, set new goals and find an outlet to share your world and attract what you will.

If your thinking of giving up…don’t.

I thought about giving up blogging after my 7th post because I didn’t think I was that good at it. Today I celebrate post number 50 with a bunch of great followers and I finally feel like this journey has just begun, because I can hear those positive whispers beginning to speak up and shout. Any goal you set yourself, anytime you feel that you can’t carry on, just remember that all the challenges you face are testing your determination to succeed.

UPDATE: 4-OCT-15, Today I celebrate over 130 blog posts, built up a coaching business and success continues to grow everyday.

Thank you to everyone that has supported me so far, here’s to nurtured goals and continued success!

Terry S

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Achieve Your Goals by Staying Persistently Positive


Unbelievable, not even 10 weeks into the New Year and my universe has served up a huge dose of concentrated triumphs. The recipe for 2013 has been trialed and tested, and folks: staying persistently positive is proving to be a key ingredient. Great family news, astonishing professional accomplishments and a measure of personal growth! This trending behavior over the last couple of months has left a lingering aroma of a lot more success and accomplishments to look forward to and work on.

Just like your own goals in life, they’re only attainable if you’re persistently pursuing them. So attach a positive outlook onto the life of which you pursue. You’re setting your goals in motion every day by seizing opportunities; doing research and moving forward toward the result rather than waiting for it to come to you, now imagine the power of an objective when your whole being is constantly oozing optimism. Furthermore, no one really needs to be told to think positive, we know this already; it’s practically common sense but were being told this because we’re not being persistent with it. We need to be on top of this way of thinking and train ourselves to bring it out when we need it most. It’s like being told to eat when you’re hungry, it’s obvious, but if we eat regularly and by knowing when to eat, the feeling of hunger becomes far and fewer.

What I’m trying to say is, don’t wait for the accomplishments of a goal to deploy positive behavior, and don’t expect by merely thinking positive, that your goals will come to you. They need to work consistently together like a well oiled all wheel drive to thrust you into success.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Become Successful: Avoid Complacency

The complacent man is a man who is content, unconcerned and unfortunately pleased. For most this notion is an ideal way of life, as it’s easy. There will however, come a point when such a man is reminded of the aspiration he once held, but because he’s living so contentedly that aspiration seems unattainable, too risky and ‘impossible’. Opportunities have passed and the ability to break free from such an established behavior is now just nonsensical.

If you’ve ever had a big dream or set to accomplish a goal you’ve always expected to achieve then there isn’t any room to be complacent. Steering off the path you set yourself and settling into something you were never meant to, nor wanted too because it became the easiest and most sensible option. Although reasonable the compromise itself can be a form of self sabotage.

I know personally, so many people who had so much passion and drive in life and for one reason or another, somehow managed to lose their way and nestle into something ‘comfortable’ which they never envisioned for themselves. It worsens as they find themselves reasoning this way of life and defending such complacency to others.

I’ve seen how frequently it can damage one’s self esteem and self-worth when this realization hits; relationships get torn apart and bad choices are made due to the complacent man who once had higher hopes.

Stick to the goals you set yourself. If the career you have in isn’t the one you wanted, then go out and find the one you want; at least research, investigate and try to make things happen. Even if the relationship isn’t the one you want to be in, get out of it and go in search of the type of person you’re after. Go and make life what you intended to make of it, don’t just settle and lastly, don’t sit on something that’s good when there’s opportunities out there to make things great.