The Personal Development Cycle

the-personal-development-cycle

Learn all about The Personal Development Cycle, on my new blog here: vancitylifecoach.com/blog

“If 2016 has taught us anything, it’s that we can no longer sit and wait for positive change to come knocking on our doors, we actually have to invest the effort and energy to drive our lives forward, in the direction we want them to go. Fortunately, we can kick start positive change by investing time in personal development, and it doesn’t have to be a daunting task either, for personal development works as a cycle that functions in both directions, and we can start wherever we feel most comfortable”

Reform Your Relationship with Opportunity

post by, VanCityLifeCoach.com

Overcoming problems

Happy New Year, folks! 2016 is officially here and before you run out and sign up for those gym memberships, before you start your detox and worry about the debt you’ve accumulated over the holidays, let’s talk about you for a moment.

The world is moving toward a new paradigm and the traditional way of living and earning seems to be changing. You may have noticed how little control you have over your own life, as you cling to the conventional methods of living. Perhaps the 9-5 model simply isn’t getting you where you want to be in life.

You may also find yourself molding and adapting to incompatible identities just to avoid being alone, while life seems to just pass by without purpose. The routine is getting old; Perhaps you find yourself lacking energy and living for those rare moments of happiness and joy as you exist within the bounds of procrastination and complacency.

Though this isn’t the case for everyone, maybe you’ve noticed such tendencies in family or friends, or feel that the instances above resonate within your own life. 

There’s a new energy that arrives each time you ring in a new year and it encourages you to seek opportunity. We make resolutions and promises within our lives just as easily as we upgrade our already perfectly functioning cell phones, only to realize that the fulfillment gained from these impulsive decisions was merely temporary.

To kick-start your life and navigate it into lasting fulfillment, you must first deal with the biggest problems that rule your life. You need to resolve the very problems that germinate the recurring, negative thoughts weighing heavy on your mind. It’s time to lift up that proverbial rug and clean out the problems brushed under it. If you’re seeking purpose and value this year, then you must work on developing the courage to attain them; unresolved problems break down the courage you need to develop. Your problems restrict the energy required to propel your life towards a reason of being.

Your immediate goals this year should be focused on overcoming the troubles you’re facing in life. This year, if you’re feeling numb and lacking satisfaction, you may want to reflect on your behavior in previous years, because clearly something isn’t working if you’re feeling deflated and unmotivated.

The longer you hold onto or avoid a difficult situation, the easier it becomes to talk yourself out of an opportunity; your problems will keep you from moving forward. Liken it to being in school, where each problem you solve in a subject- take math for instance- leads to a feeling of genuine confidence and encouragement, inspiring you to move ahead.

The opportunities you seek in life are available to you. Granted, some of us have to work harder than others to secure them, and I agree that the world isn’t exactly perfect and equal. However, working on and overcoming your troubles will make room for the encouragement and determination you need to succeed. The self-esteem you need to build and the tenacity you require can only develop when they have room to grow. Hold onto or avoid your problems for another year, and you’re only contributing to a life you simply aren’t happy with.

So if you’re stuck in a relationship that brings you more misery than joy, repair it or end it. If you’re in a job you hate, don’t work towards the promotion, work your way out of the job. If you’re feeling lost and alone, then work on developing the courage to admit it and seek support, rather than suppressing your feelings in an attempt to appear fine. If you’re dealing with an insecurity, or insecurities that lead into negative behavior, then work to uncover the root cause of it, in order to stop them from ruling your life any longer.

Want 2016 and the rest of your life to mean something, then reform your relationship with opportunity. Make room in your life to seek and secure opportunities confidently by dealing with your immediate problems first. Deal with the troubles that restrict your identity and limit your potential, and fix the problems that keep you from moving closer towards your aspirations.

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

2015: Reintroducing Spirituality to Success

I heard the above tune back in 1998 when I was about 10 years old. Now almost 17 years on, I still have it on my iPod and I’m gutted at the fact that Tupac might be right, that nothing will ever change. I listened to this track yesterday and picked out a handful of lyrics:

  • “Cops give a damn about a negro? Pull the trigger, kill a ni***, he’s a hero.”
  • “Misplaced hate makes disgrace to races we under.”
  • “There’s war on the streets and the war in the Middle East.”
  • “Take the evil out the people, they’ll be acting right.”

The world has advanced in so many ways, yet nearly 20 years on, this song could have been released today and still be relevant. So I began to wonder what was missing in our pursuit of success. After all, when we think about wanting success, it’s often motivated by the desire for change.

After some reflection, I began to wonder why society has become so socially latent; it seems the very pursuit of success has been misguided and reduced to self-indulgence and lifestyle. Making us blind to issues (like the ones above) that our successes could help eliminate.

Defining the Pursuit of success

We’re 15 years into the third millennium and I’m thinking about my own future and that of our future generations. I want them to become successful of course, but what message can I share that ensures their success isn’t pursued in vain. That their pursuit of success does not perpetuate social latency, because the idea of having a fancy car trumps the value of personal accomplishment.

We often look up to successful people today for all the wrong reasons, they set so many bad examples of what it means to be successful. Causing society to substitute true fulfillment for material possessions, to replace true leaders with pop icons and to adopt mass trends instead of embracing their own ideas.

I meet so many people living “successful lives” yet they struggle to find any fulfillment in the lives they live…that’s not success.

The pursuit of success seems lost in translation. It’s surprising how many people want success yet find it difficult to define it, let alone have any worthwhile reason as to why they want it. Lacking purpose and identity.

I think the pressure to look successful has blurred the true meaning of what it means to be successful.

The entire reason I anchored this topic off of Tupac, was to illustrate how much we have disconnected with the spirit behind success, and how this disconnect can result in no real progression or change. Be it in ourselves or circumstance.

Here’s a man who pursued success for much defined reasons. He became successful because he had the right spirit. That spirit then left a lingering echo through time. Leaving an awareness that identified some of his unfulfilled aspirations, for others to then recognize and connect with. To me that’s a very good example of what it means to become successful.

Success and Spirituality

It’s spirituality that exists within great people of today and those that have left legacies behind for others to align with. The advances in science, the innovation in technology, the force of community, the boldness in art and the tenacity in sport. They were all driven by the spirit within individuals. Industries moved forward because those that carried the spirit of success prevailed.

I sometimes can’t help feeling that the connection civilization had to spirituality has been lost. Through the misinterpretation of religion perhaps, or the lack of belief and trust in those that lead us.

Spirituality is personal-growth, it’s giving our lives meaning, giving our ventures a reason to be pursued. It’s developing an elevated feeling of purpose. It’s the connection we can’t measure, yet have with our dream.

Spirituality authenticates our aspirations. It’s our journey, we should make it significant.

Having spirituality in success defines the outcome we desire. It’s the umbrella that hosts determination, courage, confidence, motivation, perseverance and pretty much anything else we require, that contributes to believing in ourselves.

Let the pursuit of success once again become a virtue. With it, make positive changes within ourselves and to world we live in.

We have the opportunity within us to leave a legacy, not just a memory. Pursue accomplishment and be successful, don’t just pursue the idea of success.

“You see the old way wasn’t working so it’s on us to do what we gotta do, to survive.”

– Tupac Shakur, Changes

VanCity