Sponsoring Jason Silva in Vancouver!

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I started The Lion’s Life about 5 years ago and today, I have my own Life Coaching practice and in a position to be able to sponsor events such as Jason Silva’s: Hack Your Reality – right here at home, Vancouver B.C.

Jason Silva Twitter

When you love something with such passion and are dedicated to a vision of what you want out of life, never ever give up.  No really, don’t give up! Who knew I’d find myself in this position when I posted my first blog post back in 2012. Back then i never had much, all I had was a vision for what I wanted and passion for what I did. Which I realizes today,  they’re a powerful combination to have and they cost absolutely nothing.

The real cost occurs when you do give up, because over the last 5 years I had thought about it many times. When I took a shot and missed, or when I got a negative comment, and even when I thought I couldn’t power through the stress and struggle. Today’s celebrations have made me realize how crucial all of those moments were to the process.

Today I also launched my International coaching practice and as I was updating the my local site, I started to realize why all those entrepreneurs I look up to always say “do what you love.”

It wasn’t easy getting to this point, in fact it doesn’t feel any easier. However, when you manage pull in the tiniest piece of your dream into real life, the hunger to see this through grows and forces you to persevere, and see your aspirations through to the very end.

The dedication it takes to build the life you’ve always envisioned is like training for the olympics, and although I’m still preparing for my gold medal, I definitely feel like I’m on the right track with each victory along the way.

This blog right here is where it all began, and writing this post is helping me comprehend what I have manifested in my life. Scanning though the archives have really put things in perspective for me, especially now thinking ahead to the next 5 years.

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How to Tame the Ego

Success is like a drug, and like drugs it comes in many forms: a return on investment, a fulfilling experience, or even reaching a higher state of consciousness. And just like drugs, success can develop into an addiction, and the only way to sustain the addiction is to feed the ego. The ego is the only thing that can convince you that the success (the drug) is all you need to live for.

My ego has fought for dominion over my conscious experience my entire life, and with each success, my self-awareness weakens and becomes a window of opportunity for my ego to reign.

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This week has been a series of wins and with each ‘hit’, I could feel my identity escaping me. When you succeed, in the very traditional sense of the word, the world starts to take notice and sort of validates your self-worth with every like, comment, congratulatory call or text. Each validation enhances the ‘high’, and it’s a difficult feeling to escape. I mean, who doesn’t like being validated by someone else?

Over the past few years, I feel my biggest accomplishment has been developing my self-awareness, and when my behaviours started mimicking that of my ego, it was time to put it back in its place. I found myself constantly checking my phone for red notifications, replying “thank you”, to comments from people who don’t really give a sh*t, and allowing myself to believe that only I can do what I do, which I know for a fact isn’t true. That’s not the life I want to build, that’s not the life experience I want live, and nor is it the life I want to share.

Praise is like positive reinforcement, the behaviours (the successes) I was being rewarded for (praised for), we’re reinforcing the idea that if I repeat these same behaviours, I can expect to be rewarded again. Soon, my purpose is replaced with the desire for more praise and validation. This entices the ego to come out and play, and to take control over my life in order to sustain this rewards based system.

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If I let this happen I restrict my potential, because it’ll only motivate me to do enough to keep others happy and keep my ego satisfied. It also places an overwhelming expectation, an unnecessary pressure which’ll distract me from being able to just, be. It’s a difficult behaviour to undo, a difficult behaviour to defeat, when this is what we’re taught from a young age. That the only reason to do anything, is for the reward.

We rarely praise each other for feeling completely content with where we are in our lives. Rarely are we impressed with people who are just happy on their journey, wherever it’s headed. It’s always a sort of “that’s nice” or “good luck” or “you’ll go far”- a compliment that suggests we should be doing more for a reward/better reward. I remember these praises, because I got them a lot when I started blogging. It was only when success grows, do people feel compelled to reach out and say “well done” and “Congratulations!”

Where’s the appreciation for just existing and being you? Why does being you and doing what you do naturally, have to be worth something in terms of “success”, before you’re appreciated at all?

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This is what years of feeling insignificant does to us, when we grow up feeling insignificant any experience of validation becomes a high, just like a drug, because the experience is so surreal to us. We want more of this unreal experience. We’re rarely taught that who we are is enough, so a lot of us spend a lifetime chasing the high for no other reason than to just feel worth something. Forever trying to prove our worth, and less time developing and learning from it.

We all have a reason to exist, we all have worth from the moment we’re born, and I think the ego is tamed when we accept that. When we accept ourselves life becomes this wonderful journey of discovery, instead of a mission to know and have things just to justify what we think we know, which is often very far from the truth.

When we equate validation to acceptance, to love, and to appreciation, we lose sight of our own capacity to accept, love, appreciate, so we blindly validate ego.

Without the attachment to traditional affirmations of success: the nice house, the flashy cars, the perfect relationship and all the other trimmings sold to us on social media, who are we? I think it’s a reason why so many relationships tank, why so many great ideas fail, and so many of us give up on things we’re passionate about so quickly. It seems if we don’t get the validation it’s not worth the experience, so we give up or do the minimum to sustain whatever we’ve built.

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All I did was start expressing my truth and once I got comfortable with it, I navigated my truth to different experiences, and the experiences taught me how to share it. Living more authentically gave me the courage to explore the things that truly interested me, and the more I learned, the more I invested my life into it. I was developing my passion and as my passion grew I identified my purpose, all because it just felt right, natural even.

This is why I wrote this post today, to save me and the future me from my own ego. It may not be well written, nor will it ever be perfect, but it’s me, and so long as I continue to express myself honestly, I’ll continue to develop and grow me into the best version of me I can ever be.

I think if we all work hard to develop self-awareness and actively help each other keep our egos in check, relationships will inspire, passions will be pursued and life will become a freer experience to live.

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The Pursuit Of True Love: How To Increase Your Chances Of Finding The One

*Guest Post*

It’s Christmas time, and many of us are looking forward to spending time with loved ones. For some, this means enjoying quality time with a partner. For others, it may involve visiting friends and family. Some people love being single, but others hanker after finding true love. If you are on your own, the festive period can be a stark reminder of just how single you are. If you’re desperate to be in a relationship, don’t worry. Just because you’re not with somebody now doesn’t mean that you’ll never find your perfect match. Here are some tips to help you increase your chances of finding the one.

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Give yourself a chance

Are you working all the time or do you spend every available minute with friends or family? Sometimes, love doesn’t come to you. You have to go out there and give yourself a chance of finding it. If you’re not meeting new people, there’s a very low chance that you’re going to stumble across the man or woman of your dreams. Try and be sociable, and cast your net wider. You can learn something from every person you meet. If you don’t have time to date a lot, try taking up a new hobby. Go to evening classes and learn a language, join an art class or play team sports. Internet dating is very popular, but be careful. There’s a perception that many people are looking for something casual, rather than trying to locate their soul mate. If you are talking to somebody, take things steady. Get to know each other before you meet.

It’s also really important to learn and appreciate your value and worth. It sounds cliche, but if you don’t love and respect yourself, you’ll find it tougher to find somebody that does. It’s very easy to zone in on your flaws. We live in a critical society where we’re under scrutiny all the time. Try and concentrate solely on the good points. Everyone has imperfections. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t.

Adopt a positive mindset

If you’ve been knocked back several times, it’s easy to go to dates with a negative mindset. Why should this one be ay different? Is there any point in putting yourself out there only to be rejected again? The truth is that if you have negative thoughts, this will affect your mood, and possibly the outcome of the date. Think positively. Why can’t this be the day that changes your life forever? What’s to say that this person isn’t completely different to all the others? The beauty of human relationships is that every single one is different. What works for one person won’t for another. If you’re focused and you’re persistent, you can attract what you want in life. A positive mindset is much more appealing to other people, and it will help you to feel more confident.

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If you’re single, you may think that finding the one is impossible, but don’t give up. Give yourself chances to meet new people, and appreciate what you can offer other people. Learn to deal with knocks, and try and stay positive. Don’t put pressure on yourself. You may find that you stumble across love when you least expect it.

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Why Do People Breakup?

why do people break up?Relationships are the assembly of individual identities. They’re about support, equality, balance and most importantly, acceptance. – vancitylifecoach.com/about. Preserving these types of values keep relationships alive, and help us rise above a lot of relationship challenges. However, if these core values are neglected, communication starts to breakdown, intimacy begins to dwindle and we’ll no longer feel understood by each other. Which then establishes the foundation for every disagreement and difficulty that soon proceed. Indeed, it’s drifting away from core relationship values which carry us into ‘breakup’ territory.

We’re all conscious beings full of complicated emotions, and we’re driven by what we desire from life. When two of us decide to align our lives together, we do so because we’re enthralled by each other’s identities. As we explore each other’s physical and metaphysical worlds, an intimate bond develops, and makes it easy for our emotions to intensify, and for our personal desires to get blurred. In these moments, we become very present and nothing else matters but the here and now. We want nothing but to hold onto these feelings for a lifetime; we want nothing to change because of how we feel within ourselves.

We all want to be completely understood and want to be accepted and embraced for who we are, and it’s never more realized than in newer relationships. When we meet people who make us feel this way, it’s easy to develop an attachment towards them. It’s about how we feel. We long for these traits because they help us believe in ourselves and help affirm our identities, and this is how we need to feel in order to fulfil our own desires. Being truly understood, accepted and embraced, these are the innate, underlying intentions we all share when pursuing a relationship, because they allow us to love ourselves. If we’re not feeling any these fundamental emotions within, love, generally, cannot grow and the relationship will struggle to fulfil its purpose. Instead, we can find ourselves holding onto an attachment that lacks substance, and that’s when the doubts and uncertainties start to arise.

We tend to forget, or pay very little attention to, our own contributions during the growth stages in relationships. In the beginning, everything is new and exciting, the future is brighter, we’re feeling good and if, by, some sort of sorcery, we manage to become just as valuable to our partners as they are to us, but it’s easy to lose sight of that for a number of reasons…

We become so mesmerized by the other person in the beginning, that we’re not mindful of the conscious exchange that’s at play. If the balance of the exchange is not maintained, and the scales tip in favour towards one person or the other – i.e. we receive more love, appreciation, understanding and acceptance e.t.c., than we give, or, give more than we receive, or, don’t give each other any at all – a pressure or burden begins to amount and that’s when we start drifting apart.

…for one, we live in a world abundant with messages that reinforce a certain ideology of love, and we get so caught up in these ideas and ideals, that our natural intentions get skewed. It’s a wicked conditioning that uses our motivations against us. We’re bombarded with associations of what love and belonging looks like, sounds like, tastes like and what it’s like to touch and smell love. These imitations reinforce a belief that love is limited to our 5 physical senses and as a result, we start moulding ourselves to appeal to these senses. It’s a reason why ‘profile dating’ even exists, and why it’s difficult to develop the courage to strike up a conversation and get to know somebody. It’s a reason why inequality is still a struggle today, because we’ve been taught to believe that love is not blind, that love is biased and that true, genuine and honest emotion can quite possibly be bought.

Political, social and economic conspiracies aside, we shouldn’t be entering relationships being understood, accepted and embraced, for qualities that do not represent who we are. Qualities that do not represent the conscious being within (our trues heart’s desire). Otherwise, we’ll find it difficult to sustain any emotional connection with anyone, because the core relationship values would’ve been built upon a fallacy. I think all of us can agree that no matter how hard we try, the truth of what we’re feeling will always find a way to surface. The weight of that truth will continue to get heavier and more unavoidable over time, and places a strain on our relationships.

If truth cannot reside within a relationship, how much longer an individual go on feeling misunderstood? How much longer can two people live with misaligned desires? How much longer can an individual live complacently?

However, there are still many of us who have managed to escape the influences of the world and have established and maintained very honest relationships. Breakups that do occur in these sort of bonds are the result of mutual understanding. If we’re constantly being honest about how we feel, and we completely unveil our truths as soon as they surface, then issues are given the opportunity to be resolved. We can avoid a lot of prolonged upset and heartache, if we preserve an environment where we can open up and communicate. After all, a lot of arguments and frustrations are the manifestations of unresolved problems.

In summary, relationships should empower us to explore life fully, so that we can each discover and/or fulfill our individual purpose. When we form a relationship, we enter a mutual agreement based on this very philosophy. We don’t enter them to feel restricted or suppressed, nor do we want that for our partners.  Therefore, if any of us are ever feeling this way in our relationships, we have duty to ourselves and to each other to open up about how we feel, and work towards a resolution so that we can each continue to progress our lives forward.

Vancouver Life Coach

Where do you find love?

Post by Vancouver Life Coach, Terry Sidhu.

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I recently came back from a trip that made me realise the unspoken struggles we face alone, beneath the surface of the identities we present. Having reconnected with loved ones after many years and establishing brand new connections, I came back from this trip more aware of the emotional experiences we’re all striving for in life. Experiences that many of us will fail to achieve, if we continue to overrule what we’re truly feeling with rationalisation. The experiences I’m talking about, have to do with Love.

Love is an emotion that has baffled great minds for millennia, and I’m learning that the only way to understand what love is and the purpose it serves, is to first accept and embrace it. To realize that it exists and that it sits at the very core of all human emotion.

Sometimes I feel my work simply involves reconnecting individuals with love. Albeit helping individuals accept and embrace who they are and develop a love of themselves, through to helping individuals uncover a path that feels genuine and purposeful. Then there’s the relationship aspect of my work, where I help people reconnect with the feeling of love, rather than merely presenting the idea of it.

Although I began my career with a subjective understanding of love, my work has helped me develop objectivity on the matter. I’m understanding that love is an authentic connection to an honest energy, where one feels completely accepted by and accepting of said energy. Love is the most liberating of all emotions, which is why I feel we should navigate our lives by it. Learning about the impact of love and how it can influence even the most stubborn of minds, I finally feel I can write from the heart and of the heart, about this alluring topic.

I feel human consciousness or the gateway to human consciousness, has a lot to do with the awakening of our emotions. I think to when a baby is born, the very first thing a child experiences in life is raw and uninterrupted emotion. I feel my understanding of emotion is that they’re our awareness of existence. I feel our emotions are the true senses of our consciousness, and it’s trusting and relying on these senses that will guide us to the best conscious experience possible. Perhaps then our traditional, physical senses, are the gatekeepers that help us manage and construct our conscious experience.

I imagine human consciousness as a vast garden where seeds of emotion are planted. I think these seeds sprout at birth and from then on, the way we live our lives shape the way this garden grows. For example, a lot of negative life experiences will probably result in an unappealing garden full of negative emotions. Weeds that overshadow or restrict the potential of an appealing garden from blossoming; a garden full of flowers of positive emotion. If we can imagine our emotions in this way, like plants that need to be nurtured, then we can appreciate the value in nurturing positive emotion. Understand the effort it takes to maintain positivity and how easy it is to neglect and let negativity take rule over time. Therefore, to nurture and grow positive emotion, we must make the effort in our everyday lives for positive life experiences.

I use this analogy in order to help my clients understand the work it may take to revive their identities, and manage their lives into the fulfilment they seek. It’s a matter of managing and maintaining our “gardens” so to speak. It also helps us understand that all our emotions exist and are present within us, and just like the plants that grow in our gardens, we need to nurture the right ones. We must work to grow a garden worth presenting; to live a life worth living, and where relationships are concerned, we must develop a garden worth visiting; a life we’re confident sharing.

I’ve always noticed, or rather envied how children seem to have an innate ability to embrace love so easily. It makes me think that love is the emotion that grows in the centre of our conscious gardens. A tree that branches into emotions like passion, hope, enjoyment, confidence, excitement, happiness, liberation and so on. I think naturally we’re supposed to, and are allowed to, live our lives this way and I suppose that’s why it’s said that happiness is a choice.

I think our negative experiences in life and the mass, repetitive messages we’re surrounded by impact our emotions so much so, that we lose sight of our positive emotions. Our positive emotions become defined for us and reinforced by messages that tell us how we have to look and behave. Our gatekeepers, our traditional senses, are so overwhelmed by these messages that we’re convinced that love and happiness is something we must strive to earn, even though they already exist within.

As an example, think about the last time you’ve really wanted to settle a curiosity, or wanted to be spontaneous in life and just live, but you’ve stopped yourself because of a fear of what others may think?

If we continue to limit these potentially positive experiences in life, we nurture and grow negative emotions like insecurity, isolation, hopelessness, sadness, fear and so on, until they take over that tree and transform it into hate. If we can realise that we are in control of our lives, that we are the caretakers of our own gardens, we can actively take charge of how we feel. We can consciously choose to grow love.

Emotions have always been key to our survival and well-being and as the world has evolved, I fear we’ve learned to rationalize or turn a blind eye to what we’re truly feeling. Think about it, how many times have you had to convince yourself that “everything’s fine”, because from the outlook you should have nothing to worry about? You may have built a life that looks good, but how many of you reading this can honestly say you’re living a life that feels good?

It’s really simple actually, because we can easily distinguish what feels good from what feels bad and more importantly, we can distinguish what leaves us feeling good and what leaves us feeling bad. We just need to start listening to our emotions in order to guide our lives in a positive direction. We must learn to neglect and move away from all things bad, and educate and strengthen our gatekeepers to focus on all things good.

My apologies if this post sounds more spiritual than usual, but the happiest people I’ve come across lead their lives with love. I see that they’re surrounded by an abundance of love because they’ve let this emotion take reign over their lives. They love what they do, they love who they are, they love others easily and most importantly, they’re easily loved. How many of us can say we feel this way everyday?

Today we can to stop contributing our own misery, by facing the truth that is rooted in our emotions.

Vancouver Life Coach

Relationship Advice

Don’t lose sight of self.

Don’t lose sight of her/him.

If you get lost, work to navigate yourself back to the moment and realisation, to which you felt safe enough and secure enough, to be vulnerable and open with the person you gave your all to.

The world is full of many people who don’t understand you, who simply won’t get your identity and everything you’re about. Are you ready and willing to let go of that one person, a person among billions, who actually saw you and accepts you for who you are?

On the other hand. Relationships, don’t jump in so naively.

Just because the media, society and every other member of influence tells you you’re supposed to, remember:

Only Like If You Have Truly Been Seen,

Only Explore If You Are Madly Interested,

And Only Love When You Are Deeply Accepted.

Otherwise there just isn’t any reason to Do.

Cheesy-90’s-love-song reference aside, learn to be yourself and completely open and honest about who you are and let others learn what you’re about. Otherwise, you’re simply leading your relationships into misery. Give yourself the opportunity to find love blissfully, completely and honestly. Anything less or alike is a mere an imitation or illusion.

Love, genuine love for even merely a moment, is worth much more than a lifetime of hypotheticals and regret. Take it from someone who has lived and lost this infatuation and works with the people entangled by this phenomena for a living:

Vancouver Relationship and Life Coach

Sex and Its Impact On Success

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I grew up in a culture surrounded by sexual repression. A subject too taboo to discuss openly in an environment where dating wasn’t even a topic of consideration.  Which I found bizarre considering my ancestors nurtured a land of spiritual liberation and sexual expression and exploration, India.

Sex is an act we should discuss more openly and practice more freely, because confidence in the bedroom can help strengthen our vulnerabilities and affirm our identities.  It can help us reach an esteemed level of self-assurance, and can uplift our intimate relationships to a level of complete acceptance and assurance. And if we’re feeling secure and confident within ourselves, we’re more likely to succeed in many other aspects of our lives.

To maintain happy and healthy lives, we must always monitor and maintain balance. If you’re an individual that strives for meaningful sexual experiences, sex or rather bad sex, can be an indication of imbalance. Basically if you’re not enjoying your sexual experiences and you’re left feeling unfulfilled, it could be a sign that there’s a problem in some other area of your life.

It is often said that our minds are the most powerful sexual organs we possess, therefore to understand sex and its impact on success, we must first connect to the moments that lead us to meaningful sexual experiences. Therefore we cannot talk about sex without establishing the roles of attraction and love first:

  1. Attraction = the recognition of a compatible energy, as your identity seeks Balance.

Shed the shallow ideologies presented in the media, and you’ll find that attraction is a very personal pursuit. What we find attractive is as individual as our own identities. Who we find attractive isn’t just based on just looks, everyone knows that personality plays a large role.

The more open and honest you are about what you find attractive, the securer you’ll feel approaching who you find attractive, ultimately feeling secure within your own self. You’ll significantly improve your chances of finding a sexual partner that you’re compatible with, increasing your chances of finding someone that will help you strive for and maintain balance within your life. You’ll learn very quickly, that knowing what you want will help you achieve exactly the success you desire, much faster.

  1. Love = the recognition of acceptance, as two compatible identities become Balanced.

As you become accustomed to knowing what you’re attracted to, you significantly increase your chances of finding love. Love is to be completely accepting and to feel accepted. Two identities forming a connection unbound by convention, but bound by acceptance. Love will significantly improve your self-assurance, because being loved is knowing that who you are is valuable. That small four lettered emotion positively impacts your identity and your personal pursuits, because you’ve found your ultimate supporter and your biggest fan. That encouragement will guide you to success, by navigating you through the challenges that will most likely arise.

  1. Sex = the recognition of truth, as two identities performing the Balancing Act.

Good sex, the best sex, is when both/all parties involved can be completely vulnerable, open and honest with each other. Attraction can take you so far but sex will uncover a lot of truths. I think back to random one-night encounters, often they lack fulfillment, because it’s difficult to be completely vulnerable, honest and open with someone you’ve just met. Also the initial attraction may have been a deception, because the sex never measured up against the identity you perceived.

Sex uncovers a lot of truths about an individual, and when both parties do measure up to that initial attraction, sex becomes this awe-inspiring, self-assuring experience you expect it to be, and you begin to trust your own judgment and instinct. You begin to unleash your inner genius and tap into your potential, the very fibers of fulfilling success.

Encourage yourself to become more open and confident around the topic of sex, sexuality and what you find sexy, and begin your journey into liberation. The impact of living a liberated life, will feed the energy of unlimited success.

VanCity