“If 2016 has taught us anything, it’s that we can no longer sit and wait for positive change to come knocking on our doors, we actually have to invest the effort and energy to drive our lives forward, in the direction we want them to go. Fortunately, we can kick start positive change by investing time in personal development, and it doesn’t have to be a daunting task either, for personal development works as a cycle that functions in both directions, and we can start wherever we feel most comfortable”
Post by, VanCityLifeCoach.com
Sometimes we find ourselves in a state of lasting bliss when all aspects of our lives, have reached a level of fulfillment we’re satisfied with. Although we may not be exactly where we want to be in life, health and happiness will seem to flow easily and we’ll begin feeling assertive and aligned with our aspirations.
When we arrive at these blissful moments in life, we’re prone to complacency and avoidance because moving forward may involve risk, which could disrupt this new equilibrium. Therefore it’s crucial to develop a healthy awareness of self, others and the world around us, in order to continue our pursuits to that dream life we’ve always envisioned.
Awareness is an extension of mindfulness and it teaches us to pay attention to how we impact our own lives. Whether or not we’ve reached a stage of fulfillment, our choices have dictated this destiny that’s currently being played out. Awareness helps us upkeep involvement and control over life; paying attention could be the difference in feeling like life is falling apart, and feeling like life’s falling into place.
Awareness begins with honesty. The first step is to focus on emotion, because it’s the emotions we feel that highlight the truth. When we hurt ourselves physically, we’re often very quick to notice the imbalance and work to resolve the pain as effectively as possible. However, how many of us can honestly say we do the same with our own state of mind.
As a relationship and life coach, I come across many broken souls living life irritated and insecure as a result of avoidance and complacency. On the other hand, I have clients that feel great within themselves but struggle to pursue new opportunities, in fear of losing something deemed safe and secure. The next stage of awareness, after uncovering present emotion, is to look back on the journey up until this point in time.
Many of us may not realize it, but our pasts hold many of the answers we seek to find about ourselves and our lives. How did I end up here? Why do I put up with this? How can I move forward? Why am I…? However poignant the question, the answer could be lurking within a previous moment in time. Investigating the past will help develop an awareness of motivation, uncover the triggers to motivation and we’ll learn how to avoid or promote certain behaviours.
If you’re looking to maintain health and happiness in your life, or if you’re looking to secure it, assess your current level of awareness and you may just realise where your life is headed. Today choose to take control, choose to eliminate fear and choose to overcome the insecurity you live with; Pay attention to how you contribute to your own misery and bliss, and you’ll become aware that you own your life.
The beauty of life, is that we have the opportunity to live it. So long as we maintain awareness within present moments, life can be experienced fully.
We can spend hours delving into non-existent pockets of time that satisfy our fears and suppress our truest desires. But if we do allow our minds to wander throughout time, we run the risk of losing touch with ourselves and end up losing touch with present moments we want to live.
I’d notice that my thoughts would often turn negative and I would feel as if my life would lose its value, whenever I allowed my present to be affected by the insecurities of my past and/or any uncertainties of my future. And in these moments, I’d be overcome by an overwhelming desire to escape my present completely, resulting in avoidance and halting any progression towards the life I wanted to be living.
I feel now, with my priorities in complete order and my consciousness focused on being very present and aware, I’ve been able to maintain more control over my own mindset. Every time I feel my mind wanders off in time, I wake up and snap back into productivity. I do what I have to do to satisfy the actual moment, instead of feeding any negative perception.
If for whatever reason I’m not happy or am feeling as if life is running away from me, I take it as a sign that I need to wake up. I’ve become increasingly mindful of how I had let non-existent moments in time affect my present life:
- The lack of comradery in my past would cause me to hold onto unhealthy friendships in my present. By allowing my mind to drift off into the past, I continued to fail in my present. I’ve learnt that there is no moving forward if I’m consistently looking back, I cannot allow my past experiences cause me to drift into assumptions and notions that rationalize negative behavior today. I have to honor the present and take charge of the very moment I’m living.
- On the other hand, the future has had its funny way of messing with my present too. I was recently offered an opportunity that connected really well to my goals, I hesitated before accepting this opportunity because I let my mind wander into the uncertainty of the future, and I was about to let a significant opportunity slip away from me because of a presumption that things wouldn’t work out. To me that sounds just as ridiculous as living in the past, I desire a bright future yet here I am questioning the very opportunities that may give it to me. Although I have a clear vision of how I want my future to turn out, I cannot, and must not, allow this future affect my self awareness. My present choices determine the outcome of my future, so it makes sense not to dwell too much on thinking forward, but rather spend present efforts moving forward.
To maintain control over my mindset, I ask myself if this is what I truly want; “Am I completely fulfilled in this moment?” Or “Am I letting the burden of time affect me from experiencing and accepting this moment fully?”
Failing to “Stay awake” caused me to drift away into moments of negativity, resulting in self-doubt and complacency. It’s important to rigorously maintain self-awareness o understand that the past is no longer in existence, and the future can only be determined if the present is truly nurtured. Practicing this has now made my life much simpler, and I spend less time thinking and more time doing.
As I’m paving my own path, living by my own identity and letting knowledge and understanding guide my thoughts. I can feel myself inching closer to the heart of my own virtue.
There are two very significant lessons that connected me to my passions; to my very purpose of being…
…I was about 18 years old, tired of negative influence and feeling like I didn’t belong. I was broken by betrayal and my trust in others diminished. I remember filling out my university application and remember writing exactly what I was expected to write. Just so someone could grant me access into an academic institution of no real value to me or my life. My only frame of mind was escape, so long as I didn’t have to face the reality of my intentions, I played by the rules.
So there I was, naïve, free and finally without the burden of responsibility nor tradition. I met 3 very different individuals, ambitious, influenced and as fresh-faced as I. Individuals who taught me that being me was all that was necessary. Teaching me the true value of my own life and that I shouldn’t give a f*** about anything else other than the present and being present.
Although, I still found it very difficult to be present towards graduation. It was at the end of this experience and returning home, when I realized the importance of the two lessons. Lessons that guided my successes, moved me around the world and gave me the confidence to dream and to pursue that dream.
Lesson #1 – Identity
- To embrace and nurture all aspects of my identity.
- Stay true to who I am and let truth guide my aspirations.
- To let that truth shine, so that others could connect. So that I could connect.
- An identity of my own so that my mind and my life remained in my own control.
Lesson #2 – Awareness
- To be present in the moment and to be very aware of it.
- Experience what’s happening now so that I could navigate my future.
- Being aware of others, aware of my actions and aware of my environment.
- So that I could protect myself from negativity and any threat to my identity.
- Aware of myself; my identity, so that I could work on my weaknesses and build upon my strengths.
- To be present in the moment of opportunity.
These two lessons taught me more about myself and the world I live in, than any manuscript, guru or drug ever could.
However these two lessons do not work well unless they’re connected. You can’t truly be aware unless you understand and know yourself. On the other hand you cannot fully develop your identity unless you become more aware and present.
The bridge that connects them, is emotion.
Emotion is by far, the most significant tool you have, when it comes to building a life you’re fulfilled by. It sounds so simple, but because emotions are so complex and varied, many of us fail to notice how simple life can actually be, if we pay attention to what we’re feeling.
Ever notice how a child experiences life? Free, uninhibited and curious. They’re present in the moment and full of character. Notice how the very thing that motivates and stimulates a child’s eagerness to learn and engage, is emotion. A child can love easily and has an abundance of love too, allowing them to connect to others and for others to easily connect.
When I returned home, I quickly noticed how much I ignored my emotions to pursue a life of false fulfillment. The more I allowed myself to feel, the more I became aware and the more my identity rose to the surface. It was emotion that allowed me to embrace the above lessons, that guided me to the success and fulfillment I have in my life today.
So learn to listen and experience your emotions. Build that bridge so you too can discover, and confidently live by your identity. To help you become more aware, so that you know what it is you need to do to find fulfillment.
As you begin to live life by these two lessons, build the bridge that connects them. You’ll begin to discover your passions; discover your own virtue, thus enabling you to pave a path of your very own.